When I was at school I was bullied by this guy, he would tell me to kill myself and other shit on a regular basis; anyways I never did anything about because quite frankly I didn't care he was an idiot and nothing he did bothered me. Today I was at an event and he was singing at it and when I saw him (I knew he would be there before hand) I went from "I'm a boss-ass bitch" to "everything he said was right" why did this happen? Nothing he did bothered me before but seeing him today absolutely shattered me and I have no idea why.
Is it true that his actions didn't bother you before, or were you just really good at hiding the hurt? Did seeing him now bring up emotions you'd kept under wraps?
On a conscious level you told yourself "I'm a boss-ass bitch", but maybe there was something going on beneath those conscious thoughts. What do you think? I'm not really doubting what you say, but it takes a supremely confident and strong person to entirely dismiss hateful comments like he made to you in the past. The most important thing is to recognise that he is someone from the past who no longer has any control over, or influence in your life. Move on, but move forward and be successful. Living your life and being the person you want to be is the best way to get past all of this. I was bullied at school like you, but now I can look at the successes in my life and contrast them to miserable failures that some of my persecutors have become. I have had the last laugh and so can you. (*hug*)