So, I'm wondering under what circumstances you'd feel it's best to use words to express your interest as opposed to actions. I feel very vulnerable doing both because of, well, personal history, so I'll end up feeling vulnerable in both situations, but situations that involve communication about feelings in words terrify me. Like saying, "Yes, I'm into you." Or to someone who knows them, "Yes, I'm into her." To my despair, I have caught myself chickening out. Like way back, when I really liked a girl and she sort of confronted me about it, even though I was out, and even though she was implying that the interest was mutual, I completely chickened out. I got paralyzed and went into fight or flight mode (picking flight, unfortunately). I denied my interest in her. I did it despite a) wanting to tell her and b) being out of the closet. I ended up bawling my eyes out in the car afterwards. Recently, a mutual friend of a woman I'm very attracted to inquisitively hinted at there bieng something between us, and I did it again! I didn't explicitly denied my interest in this woman, but I kind of used a decoy to throw said friend off the scent. Now I'm scared I've screwed it up again… It's much easier for me to show my affection and attraction through giving attention, doing stuff for them, giving gifts, being supportive, etc. than I am at using words in a face-to-face situation. Why do I do this? I think it's a defense mechanism that just takes over because of, like I said, personal history. I feel like I can't control it. I get so scared I panic! And then regret it like an idiot afterwards, because I end up self-sabotaging my hard-earned chances!
