In my way of being paranoid and anxious still after having come out, I asked my Mom something to the effect of, "would you ever not speak to me again because of this?" I kind of have a way of asking stuff like that all the time and she just got annoyed and said something to the effect of, "Is it really the most important thing whether your parents speak to you", but then she ultimately answered that she would. Then, I think I might have heard Dad asking her why she was acting like there was uncertainty about whether she'd speak to me, and she said, "Well there would be." It's weird though, because I've talked to her and she says she didn't say that. I also am pretty sure I somehow remember her saying, "well there would be", but not being sure what she was saying it to. It's weird, like I can't really remember what happened for sure. I think I might remember her having said that, but I am unsure. I feel like that just wouldn't fit, or maybe if she said that she somehow meant something different. When I ask that question, sometimes she has said that we won't be speaking when she's not around anymore. When she says that it really saddens me, but maybe that was an explanation if she said something about uncertainty. My Dad said that she said there wouldn't be uncertainty rather than that there would be. Could I have misheard? It's weird though, because I could've sworn I remembered that conversation. Then, I remember at the time being unsure, and it's like a total mindfuck. She said she loves and accepts me regardless, so this just would make absolutely no sense for that to have happened. I can also remember once early on she said that no matter what with regard to this, she'd always want a close relationship with me. They have even said that they want me to love and accept myself, and that they love me regardless. There have been some annoying comments like my Mom saying she found it 'disturbing', thinking maybe I was trying this to piss them off, and saying that given the fact that I can be ornery that in combination with that it makes them feel hopeless, and there have been some annoying/stereotypical questions about it. However, they never said anything to remotely make me think that they would ever shun or disown me. I find it really strange, because I can't figure out what I heard or what I didn't hear. I can't figure out if I misheard, because I have misheard things before. I just am finding it very strange and perplexing, because I am unsure of what happened and what didn't still. This was days ago, but it still is confusing to me. Her overall attitude would seem somewhat contrary to what I think I heard her say, but could she have been revealing her true feelings when she thought I couldn't hear? That would be strange though, because when I provided a bit more detail of what my bisexuality is to me, my Mom said of it, "that all sounds good" (I had cleared up misconceptions). It would seem like that wouldn't be something that someone would say that could ever entertain the idea of shunning me. It is just strange, and I still feel like I can't tell what happened. As I said, they both deny having said that, and my Dad said that she said wouldn't rather than would? Have you ever had that experience where you thought some major thing was said or happened, but you aren't sure if it happened or not? If you have, how did you figure it out and get past it? I've never had this happen before. I've misheard things of a negative nature before obviously, but the mishearing was just cleared up right away. I've never been so unsure of something so major for so long like this. I just don't know what to do, and I'd appreciate anyone's advice on this issue. I feel like I keep going back and forth on it, unsure of what happened.
