I wish I didn't have feelings for her. I really do. I wish I could just wrap them up nicely and put them aside. It makes me so depressed to have feelings for her because I don't know if she's into women and she's committed anyway. I'm a very sensitive person, all the more so when trying to keep my emotions under control, and I'm constantly oscillating between thinking she likes me back on the one hand and that she couldn't possibly return my feelings on the other. It's such a rollercoaster and it is so exhausting! Worst of all is, I want her to know and do not want her to know how I feel at the same time! I want her to care and I want her to not care! I want to tell her, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable or ruin a potential friendship and I dread seeing that look in her eyes that says, "Uhm… No, sorry." I guess I just want someone to say "Hey, you're not alone. I know what it's like."
I totally feel you. I'm in love with one of my friends and I am neither out nor is she gay/bi/pan. I know how you feel. Trying to keep youself under control but you just can't - that is me in every way. I can't offer any help, sorry, but I just needed to tell you, you really arent alone
you're definitely not alone! same here, i want her to know i like her, i think she likes me too. But imagine if all that hope goes.. I'm left with nothing. It takes someone special for me to fall for and hardly ever feel like this. the buzz, the what ifs... but is the reality better? 50/50 lol
