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So...There's this girl...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by themostfly, Dec 14, 2015.

  1. themostfly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    38
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    Location:
    Mississippi
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hi, I'm new here.

    I started a job in April. During my first week, a woman who works in the same department introduced herself to me. She seemed nice, and immediately, I thought she was beautiful.

    I didn't see her much for the next few months, but every time I did she'd complement an outfit or my hair. Something. I thought she was being nice.

    In August, we got a new coworker who was friends with her so we decided to invite the new coworker and her out to a pub for a quiz night, drinks, and food. She was fun to be around and very easy on the eyes.

    As time went on, we, as a group, hung out a lot more. I don't know if I'm lesbian, bi, or straight, but I think I'm bi. I decided to not hold back on flirting with her. I felt like it was time for me to be myself.

    Every time I flirted with her, she flirted back. Sexual innuendos and all the above. For example, she said she had a thing for pirates jokingly and I said, maybe I should be a pirate for halloween. She said...maybe you should be...and so on. She'd invite me to dinner alone as well. Soon, we became somewhat close. She'd come to my office and talk to me about everything in her world. We were taking up each other's time at and outside of work. It was fun. I continued to make it clear that I wanted time with ONLY her, and she obliged.

    One week...she asks me to call and we talk for an hour. After that, I freaked out. I was afraid and confused by whether she liked me so I told her I didn't want to be friends anymore although I didn't mean it.

    The next morning I apologized and told her that I was only doing it because I liked her a lot and was confused about my sexuality. She told me she was straight, but it didn't bother her and she wanted me to be myself around her.

    For a few days, things were weird, but she invited us as a group to her house, and soon after, we were okay.

    However, she continued to flirt. At first, I thought it was just her personality, but she only does it to me. She kept insisting we should go to dinner alone. We did...and she acted oddly a bit. Asked me not to drink alcohol and did I need it around her. Then she sent me a link to 15 do's and don'ts of first dates. Last week, i complained about being hot and she responded with "Do I make you hot?" while smiling. She invited me to the ballet, and when I declined, she made it a point to tell me that she wanted me to go with her and change my mind.

    She's been doing this consistently the past few weeks. She recently blew off a guy who was trying to date her, and she'll bring him up. Usually, that makes me think she doesn't like me, and I relax. Moments later she'll start the flirting again.

    Last weekend, i decided to test how much she liked me I guess. I invited her to have hot chocolate at 8 pm. She agreed excitedly, and said she was watching a movie. I told her I loved the movie, and she decided to invite me over. I went there. She was gorgeous. I sat on the opposite end of the couch...and she talked the entire movie. Fidgeted her hands, put on lip gloss, etc. I didn't know what to do so we went to the coffee shop, and she tried to make up an excuse to stay out longer but I had to go.

    Now, this week, Idk what to do. She keeps inviting me to her place and when I go over, she doesn't want me to leaver or she gets upset if I tell her I need to go...even if it's a group of friends.

    I suppose the advice I'm asking for is....what do I make of this woman? She's 43, divorced for 10 yrs and has been in 1 relationship in that time period. Is she confused? Am I overthinking this? Should I say something?

    I admit it...I like her, but she told me she was straight. However, she sends me every signal that says she isn't. I've been around lesbians and bisexual women, and she is giving me a similar energy. She always makes eye contact, and it lingers. We've broken the touch barrier a lot lately as well.

    Yesterday, to put the icing on the cake, I made a comment about not playing a game...and she responds, "what are you...a sadist or masochist?"...Idk, man.

    Addendum:

    She often mentioned her bisexual friend to me before I told her I was confused. She would talk about going to gay bars and enjoying women hitting on her. Recently, after I told her about my confusion, she admitted to me and friends that this friend may have "tried something" on her, but nothing was going to happen or something.
     
    #1 themostfly, Dec 14, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2015
  2. setnyx

    Full Member

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    Location:
    live in VERY small town near Erie PA.
    she may just be enjoying the attention you give her & getting your reactions, a game player ( not good ) if she wasn't a co-worker i'd call her on it. since she is tho i would move on. not flirt or react to her flirting. if she really likes you in that way she'll make it clear. if not she'll get bored & quit.
     
  3. themostfly

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2015
    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I stopped flirting with her when she rold me she was straigh, but she hasn't stopped. It's been months.