I fell in love with a guy some years ago and I was in love for a year or so, It was awful. He had two girlfriends at this time (not at once haha) and he knew I loved him but talked about those girls anyways. He had already been in a relationship when I first met him and we texted each other like every day and I was so in love (and I hated me for that) and then he fell in love with the other girl and asked ME what to do, because, as I said, he was in a relationship at that time. I was crying like every evening. Then he went somewhere and we couldn't text much anymore and when he did, I didn't reply or just really shortly and I managed to "get free" from him. It was hard though. But this happened some years ago and I'm over it know, I just feel very embarrassed because I was such a little crying girl. The thing is, I saw him again some days ago (we didn't see each other for years) and I think people would say he's not as attractive anymore, he kinda gained a bit of weight. But you see, I didn't like him anymore, I kinda hated him and I didn't want to talk to him again. Eventually I did, and he wasn't as bad as I had had him in my mind. NO! I kinda felt attracted to him again and I DID want to talk to him a lot and I finally accepted his friend request on fb and I wanted to text him again (but didn't because I don't want him to notice, god, I don't want myself to be weak again!) I mean, I am not in love with him again, but I guess, if I texted him, exactly that would happen. It's like there's a small spark of attraction to him in me and I kinda try to ignore that but Ah idk... It's just, why am I attracted to exactly the same person again after not seeing him for such a long time but not to anyone else? And how can I get rid of this feeling? (I know, he wouldn't love me back, I'm just too "boyish" and not his type haha)
