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I'm Getting Beat Up at School and my Friends Think It's Funny

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Plattyrex, Dec 18, 2015.

  1. Plattyrex

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    I should give some background on this. I had problems with a girl who is fairly close with my circle of friends a couple of months ago because she was mistreating me at school. I eventually told a few teachers and the principal what was happening and none of them did anything. I eventually told my mom and she pulled me out of school until it was solved. Eventually we worked out something with the school and the girls parents when we threatened legal action, but she never actually got in trouble. I don't want to say what she did, as it's a very embarrassing topic, but it was bad. I would have gotten suspended if not expelled if I did any of the things she did to me. Something to point out here is that my friends thought all of this was funny and got legitimately mad at me for telling her. She continued to pick on me after that, but it wasn't as bad as before. Now it's really getting bad again. Just this week she punched me in the face really hard and gave me a black eye because I told her to shut up when she was making fun of me. I was a little bit scared that she was going to start regularly assaulting at school, but she didn't hit me again so I calmed down a bit. Today though, she got really mad at me. She started teasing me about my sexuality (something I very much regret telling her about) and making sarcastic but still rather creepy remarks about the jeans I was wearing. This was getting disturbingly similar to what she was doing a month ago, so I promptly told her to go fuck herself. I have been putting up with her for over a month and that's probably the most firm I've personally been with her the entire time, so I felt pretty strong and confident for the span of about 15 seconds. Then she grabbed me from behind and started punching me in the stomach. I don't know how long she was hitting me for, but it felt like a really long time. She likes to catch me alone in the stairwell, so nobody was around to stop her. I was kind of hoping there were security cameras or something in there, but that's where she punched me at the beginning of the week too and nothings been done, so I doubt it. At the same time I'm kind of glad that there seemingly aren't for the same reason I don't want to tell on her. My mom almost made me switch schools based on what she was doing before, so if I tell her now she'll almost definitely make me. I don't want to leave my school or friends. I'm getting closer and closer, however, to not even caring, as my friends still think this is funny. I am being legitimately hurt, and my friends think it's funny. It's not fucking funny. They're treating it like it's just a big joke and treating me like I'm somehow pathetic for getting beat up by a girl. How? She is much bigger and much stronger than me, and she leaves bruises when she hits me. There is absolutely NOTHING funny about any of this. But the best part is that they still want to hang out with her. I can't even sit wih them at lunch anymore because they insist on sitting next to someone who's presence terrifies me. They treat me so poorly. They're always assuring me that I'm one of their best friends yet they treat someone who is physically harming me better than they treat me. I have one friend who is somewhat siding with me on this, and even she isn't taking it remotely seriously. She has concluded that she can just talk to the girl to make her stop, and then talks down to me about it. She acts like they are being mature adults trying to mediate a 2 sided conflict and I'm somehow too dumb or childish to get involved. What really bothers me though is that she treats it as though I have also done something wrong. Snapping at somebody who is constantly teasing me over the course of every day doesn't put me in the wrong. Every time I get upset, though, she just tells me I'm throwing a hissy fit and she doesn't have to help me. Seeing as how she isn't doing anything to help anyway, I would say that throwing my 'hissy fits' won't take too much fom me anyway. I told them about what happened today, and again, they think it's funny. I'm sorry if I'm overreacting but this year has been hell for me so far. I have never experienced bullying like this before, and it just came out of nowhere. I have bruises on my face and arms and stomach and it's just awful. I'm afraid to go back to school but I can't fake sick or anything to stay home because I'm on an attendance contract from when my mom pulled me out of school. Fortunately we're out on winter break now, so I won't have to deal with her for a couple of weeks, but the stress from this is going to ruin my time off. More than anything I just feel really alone and scared. Does anyone have any advice on how to make this stop without telling on her?

    Edit: Sorry this is so long, I know most people probably don't want to read through all of this. I didn't notice how long this was until I posted.
     
    #1 Plattyrex, Dec 18, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2015
  2. WhereWeWere

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    You say you don't want to switch schools because you don't want to leave your friends, yet they think it's funny when this girl beats you up?

    They aren't your friends, that's for sure.

    I think it's best if you switch schools. Another option would be to physically fight back, but of course, with the double standards and everything, you'd probably get into huge trouble being a guy who hit a girl. Just get out of there and leave that school behind.
     
  3. imnotreallysure

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    Punch her back. You might get into more trouble, but it sends out a clear message. Some girls think they can do whatever they want because guys aren't supposed to retaliate - so it catches them by surprise when a guy treats them with the same level of contempt. I remember punching a girl in the nose in high school because she shoved me into a wall.. or did she hit me first? Either way, the problem resolved itself pretty quickly..

    Oh, I remember.. she smacked me across the face. I got into so many altercations I can't even remember who did what, lol.
     
    #3 imnotreallysure, Dec 18, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2015
  4. bookandquill

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    This may be difficult, but leave your friends.

    If they're not willing to stick with you when stuff gets bad, they're not really your friends.

    Also, if you don't want to leave your school, see if you can coordinate your schedule so that the bully has less chances to harass you. As in, switch classes. Also, do you have any friends besides the ones that bully you, or at least acquaintances? Maybe you could walk to classes with them. There's safety in numbers, and you might make some great friends as well.

    And, of course, you can switch schools. Although that might be difficult for you, depending on the circumstances.
     
  5. Plattyrex

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    I don't really know. I really don't want to leave my friends. To be honest this is usually what they are like, but they're my only friends. I have nobody else to fall back on. On top of that we've been friends for a very long time and we're very close. They need to learn how to treat me though, as this is just terrible. It's almost the end of the semester anyway, so my schedule will be changing soon. I really don't want to involve any acquaintances outside of my friends because I'm afraid anyone else would tell someone. I just need a way to get her to stop hitting me, and then hopefully things can be somewhat normal again.
     
  6. Magenta Mucus

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    They aren't your friends. Tell them something along the lines of The Fray's How to Save a Life:

    "As he raises his voice, lower yours
    And grant him one last choice:
    Drive until you lose the road,
    Or break with the ones you've followed"

    What I'm saying is, tell them to tell her to go fuck herself, or they can go fuck themselves. These are not the actions of a friend, much less those of a good friend, not to speak of a best friend.

    Or take the messier, riskier, and probably much more effective route:

    PUNCH THE BITCH IN HER FACE SO HARD, SHE'LL FORGET SHE IS ONE!
     
  7. ThatBorussenGuy

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    I'm going to be very blunt, so excuse me if I sound cold:

    Hit her back. If she can dish it out, she can take it, too. Don't let her do this to you; stand up to her. I'm not saying beat the hell out of her, but show her that you're not a pushover, because otherwise she's going to keep doing it and keep doing it, because you won't give her a reason not to.

    Also, any "friend" who can't take you getting assaulted seriously (because that's what it is, it's assault, plain and simple) or even think it's funny is not worth wasting time over. People like that will just pull you down and fuck you up. I'd break all ties with them because they're just toxic.
     
  8. Plattyrex

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    I don't believe in violence. I really don't want to hit anybody. I think you should also take the difference of our physical capabilities into account. She is much stronger than me, and to be honest I think hitting her back would only make it worse. I am not a strong person at all, I honestly couldn't stand up for myself even if I wanted to.
     
  9. Biker boy

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    plattyrex I'm so sorry to hear what you going through.. no one deserves to be treated that was especially someone putting their hands on you.
    I hate that you feel that you have no other friends that your willing to put up with being mistreated to keep them happy...
    I feel for you my first thing would be to fight back but that would be out of anger someone said try to change you classes to avoid her but as you stated its the end of the semester could you try ignoring her act like she's not their keep moving in the halls? don't stop around her I would imagine she would get tired or hired with you.
    I wish their was more I could say to help you, I wish that things would be simply resolved I don't know your story or your situation and then I wouldn't be able to instruct you tho here you can vent all you want theirs always someone to listen. here people do actually care about each other your never alone
     
  10. Really

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    Did anyone notice your black eye at school? Didn't any adult ask how you got it?
    You have to go to the principal and report this. If she was in legal trouble before, her parents need to be notified. She has real issues. Doesn't anyone want to stop her before she's let loose into society?

    You are in no way to blame for this. Do not let your "friends" belittle you. They are being completely heartless.

    I wouldn't advise hitting her. It could backfire big time. At a minimum, you should look up some self defence moves and practice them so you'll have a better chance of deflecting her if this happens again. Done right, your size won't matter.

    Do you have any 6 foot giants you could befriend?

    Please don't let her or your friends dictate what you do. You know she is in the wrong. You DO NOT have to take this.
     
  11. RainOnVII

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    (Honestly, I agree with the above posters--your friends really, really don't sound like friends--in my opinion, actions speak louder than words, and taking your bully's side? It doesn't look good for them.) I think it's great that your mom is so supportive and serious about protecting you from this girl, and pulling you out of school to give you a break, and even threaten legal action. You're definitely not overreacting--bullying, especially outright assault is a serious matter. I can't imagine the strength you have for going to school as long as you have, especially when that girl is buddies with your friends, and no one at school has really helped. Even with the possibility of switching schools, maybe you should talk with your mom, and maybe something out, or at least tell her about your worries. She's certainly on your side.

    Otherwise...how is she bullying you? I mean, is she doing it where there's no one to see it, or is she bullying you in front of other people? Maybe no one has actually seen her bullying you, and only saw the aftermath? You could start making sure there's a teacher or adult nearby every time she might be nearby. They have to do something if you're being bullied right in front of them. Or maybe you can get footage of it happening somehow?

    I'm not sure this helped at all, but I truly hope it works out.
     
  12. Thefowl

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    My best advice is fight back. Take a self defence or karate class there's some bad ass shit you can do even if there bigger than you. A flick of the wrist can literally bring her to her knees. There are some video's online, but it's hard to pull off if you can't practice.

    And I think you need to go on a finger pointing rant to get your friends to realise this isn't funny and if they still think it's funny or what ever fuckem.
     
  13. AKTodd

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    You need to tell your mom and have her take legal action against the school, this person and her parents, and anyone else the lawyer feels like scalping. As part of that you may also need to switch schools.

    These people are not your friends. Friends do not let this kind of thing happen to friends. Allowing yourself to be abused physically by this girl and emotionally by them for the occasional act of liking you that your 'friends' presumably do is simply not worth it.

    Todd
     
  14. wannahavechange

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    OK.... so... I know I say this a lot: don't stoop to their lvl....
    BUT ME PERSONALLY. WOULD'VE DECKED THIS BITCH IN THE FACE.. ANYONE OF MY FRIENDS KNOW I DON'T SCREW AROUND IF SOMEONE. PUTS THEIR HANDS ON ME. AND EXCUSE ME FOR SAYING SO IN ADVANCED BIT YOUR FRIENDS CAN GO SUCK AN EGG. OF I WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL I WOULD'VE....
    that's what the angry me wants to say... but due to the fact that I don't want peeps lookin' St me on here like I'm a toats sadist and have anger issues... I'd say you need to love your friends from a distance and make some new ones. GOD I'M STILL PISSED MY BLOOD IS BOILING THAT GIRL WOULD'VE WENT FLYING OF IT WAS ME I SWEAR!!! ...
    Oh sorry... I'm still going aren't I... you're really strong and I ready hope your friends wake up from whatever friggin high they're on. This is making me mad lolz. Outiee fivethousand yall. :bang::bang::bang:

    ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2015 at 04:07 PM ----------

    So many typos lolz
     
  15. mychemromance99

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    Your friends, they are recieving enough brickbats out here on this thread so I'll keep this rather polite.

    You have said this previously on other threads that you don't want to lose your friends.
    But if they are your friends, they would'nt have made fun out of you getting beaten.
    Yes, friends can be mean but this is unacceptable.
    One thing that I have realized is that you put up with your friends because you don't want to be lonely. You are lutting up with such mean people because you think you cannot make more friends.
    How to stop this?
    Move in groups. Befriend new people, and move with them chances are sh will not mess with you if you are around people.
    If she hits you again, retaliate back. If things get really serious, if she's throwing punches at you with intent of hurting you, scream, raise an alarm, let people know what she's doing. Maybe she will stop.
    I really hope it would'nt be necessary but if there is no other way, hit back. She needs to know that you can hit back.
    I'm sorry to encourage violence but it is the last resort.
    Make new friends, or the best idea, confide in a teacher. Let her (I assume she's a woman as they will be more empathetic than men) tell her what's going on. Maybe try and walk around the school with a techer. She wont dare to do anything about it.

    And lastly, lodge a police complaint.
    Drag her into the legal mess.
    Sounds cynical, but its not wrong. She has hurt you physically and such a deed should not go unpunished.

    And please do try to make new friends.
    They are many wonderful people out there.
    You don't need to put up with such people.
     
  16. Plattyrex

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    Thank you, but I really don't want to be violent. I have never been in a fight before, and I'm really not wanting to hit anybody, even if she does deserve it. The issue with dragging an adult into this is that I don't want my mom to make me switch schools. She's very sweet and she only does what she does because she cares, but she really doesn't give me a say in things like this most of the time. I know it sounds unrealistic, but I really just want to make the physical bullying stop. Anything else I can at least try to live with.

    ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2015 at 09:49 PM ----------

    I don't even want to hit her back. She's clearly very quick to violence now that she realizes she can get away with it so I imagine hitting her would not be very good for me. I have been putting up with this for over a month and I have learned far more about this girl than I ever cared to know. I honestly believe that she is a legitimate sociopath. I can say with utmost certainty that she enjoys doing this to me. She has very blatantly expressed that she does like me, and it seems like she knows what she is doing is absolutely wrong. I don't know if she gets some kind of sick sexual pleasure out of making my life miserable or what, but it's really hurtful and she needs to stop. I know a boy who is quite a bit bigger than me in my biology class who is really, really nice, but I don't think I could really involve him in this. Even if he would deter her from hitting me, I really like him and I tend to be very awkward around him. I don't think he would take to well to me asking him to walk me to class. I'm really more or less wanting to solve this without violence or my parents figuring out. She's a senior and she should be gone next year, so if I can have her stop hitting me for the rest of the year then I'll be good after that.
     
  17. Distant Echo

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    This is escalating. This is going to get worse. This will start happening outside of school. You are going to get seriously hurt, hospitalized. Or worse.
    They are not your friends. They are HER friends.

    They are HER friends.

    You have to speak out. You have to.
     
  18. Really

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    I don't think you need to involve your big friend in this. Just hang out with him. She might get the idea that he is there to protect you without you saying anything.

    But really, you can't do this alone. If she truly is mentally unstable, somebody needs to step in.

    If you don't want to report her, could you at least pass an anonymous note into the office saying you witnessed her beating up a younger student? Detail when and where. She absolutely has to be stopped.
     
  19. TraceElement

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    I vaguely remember an anon post sounding similar, was that you? I would get the police involved if your school isn't going to do anything. you have bruises as evidence that she has been doing this.
     
  20. bingostring

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    To those above who recommend hitting her back. That would be assault.
    Even though she struck first - it could end very badly for the OP.