Please help!!!

Hi everyone. I am 18. I have been using ****** for about 8 months but I still see myself as a newbie in the gay community. I have come out to my friends but not to my parents. Anyway, something has been bothering me lately, please help.

Three months ago, I met A on ******. He is 30. He came to Singapore for traveling purposes. My intention at first was just hooking up with him. After having sex with him on the first day we met, we went to dinner and on the same night, he asked me whether I would love to stay with him in his hotel. I accepted his offer and since then, I have been staying with him for almost everyday. I could say we became really sticky and I started to gain feelings for him.

One night, I had to go to dinner with another gay friend I was seeing and I told A that after dinner, I would go back to his hotel after dinner. However, before dinner, he told me that we shouldnt see each other anymore because seems like there's nothing left for him to stay in Singapore and wish me luck on seeing that gay guy. I was confused but I didn't stay with A but instead, going to dinner with my gay friend. After dinner, he asked me to pick up the stuff I left in his room. He put it in the lobby of the hotel. I went to the lobby and messaged him "We need to talk and figure something out." He agreed and asked me to wait at the lobby for 20 minutes. While I was waiting, I was still confused and also worried, I was thinking, "20 minutes, isn't he having sex with someone else?" 20 minutes later, a guy came to the lobby and left the hotel. Let's call that guy Q. I suspected that A was meeting Q while I was waiting. After a while, he came down and we started to talk. A told me that he also had feelings for me because we had been together for one week and being so sticky for one week is something serious or unusual for him. He was heartbroken when he knew I had to go to dinner with the gay friend. (I didn't realize he was so into me at first that actually I even brought him to meet my gay friend) Then I asked whether he was meeting a guy while I was waiting cause I saw a guy leaving the hotel. He admitted. However, the thing I don't understand is that if he thinks there's something happening between us, why could he go on ****** and meet another guy so quickly, which makes me feel like I'm just a guy, totally not important to him at all. And he told me he found the guy because he was devastated. He told me he even took viagra before meeting Q (still don't really know why he is taking viagra). Anyway, after the talk, it seemed like we have cleared up some misunderstandings and we were good.

Since then, I continued staying with him while he was in Singapore. We even went to a short trip to Thailand and he showed me around the gay stuff in Thailand. But the thing is that, before going to Thailand, he told me he used to sleep around with Asians, like he would travel to Thailand many times just to have sex with the Thai boys. He even told me he could have sex with many boys a day and that he would take viagra in order to do that. At first I was like, mmm, okay... But when I was in Thailand and saw the gay boys, I felt really disgusted about his past. I felt really gross that he was sleeping with those boys, which are really really trashy. I couldn't believe that someone could have sex with these boys. At that point, I totally didn't understand what he was thinking in the past few years. However, he also told me that after visiting other places in Asia, he said he is done with the Thai and won't be going there again. But still I was really disgusted and sometimes I feel like I feel like eventually, I am just like one of those Thai boys that he used to fuck - just using me for sex. I tried to let his past go because I realized that I couldnt hold it against him forever because of that and temporarily, we continued traveling together.

On the last day of our trip, we had to separate. It was really hard for me and of course I cried a lot... But until this point, we were not boyfriends, it's just we are more than friends, but less than a relationship. We kept in touch after we separated. We texted each other everyday and did facetime calls on a regular basis. One day, he told me he wanted to see me again and he planned to come to Singapore in December this year. Besides seeing me, he also mentioned he is going to try to find a job here in Singapore. I was stoked when I heard this news. However, he also pointed out that this trip in December will be different as we have known each other for a certain time and things may get difficult. At first, I didn't really understand why things would be difficult but hey, he was coming, so I didn't care too much about it.

Since he came here, everything was great. We were spending time together everyday. I showed him around and we did short trips in Singapore. Everything was great until the day he told me he was going to meet Q. At first I felt alright about that, but after that meal, he told me Q brought him to an amazing place and he really enjoyed it. I felt really jealous and a bit upset about that. I told A that I didn't really trust that guy and that the timing when A and Q met each other just made me felt uncomfortable. He understood how I felt and admitted he wasn't too sensitive about it, but he also pointed out that he also needed social life as he was coming here for like a month and Q is the only guy he knows in Singapore. Well, he had a point so I just shut my mouth and just kept on enjoying my time with him.

As time goes by, I know more about A and I began to like A less and less day by day... I understand that we are from different countries and long distance relationship doesn't really work especially when he told me he realized it's difficult to get a job here in Singapore (which means he won't be able to stay in Singapore) There are more and more stuff that I don't like about him e.g. I think he is so spoiled that he travels a lot that he doesnt even work much... He is like hot and cold to me. I dont know he being quiet was it because he was tired or not. I just felt more distant to him. And I recently realized I still feel grossed out about him used to sleep around with those filthy Thai gogoboys (I don't even know if he is clean or not, even though he claimed that he is negative, while the thing is that we are having sex almost everyday since he came to Singapore again) Sometimes I don't even want to have sex with him because I always have this feeling that he is just using me for sex even though he denies it. Some people tell me that A sounds a bit lost and that I'd better not see him because he sounds like a complicated person and it might hurt me... He is calling me babe and we are kissing each other like we are in a relationship. But the thing is that we are not and somehow I feel like there is a distinct difference between being friends and being in a relationship that we should draw a line between them. I am really confused and I don't know what should I do now. Please help.