This is LGBTQ related, but also not. I moved out a year and a half ago, and I'm turning 20 in a month, so I was pretty eager to get away. My family has no idea I am queer, and I don't know if I ever really plan to tell them, seeing as currently I'm in a stable hetero relationship and so no need, yet. However, I just wanted to vent a little bit and maybe find some other people in the same boat -- is going home stressful and draining for anyone else? As for me, my Mom is a hoarder (Dad passed away when I was little.) and I get immensely claustrophobic and distressed when I come home. My mom has way too many pets, and so the house always smells, there is always junk sitting around, the dishes are never done, etc. My family acts as if they are not homophobic, but it seems they are "tolerant" of gay men, but lesbians are just plain weird/freaks. Whenever a guy comes out on TV or what have you, my family thinks it's cute or he's being his true self, but when a woman does it, it isn't sincere/etc. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to vent a little bit because I've been here the past few days and it's been really difficult. I feel like I can't relax here because there is nowhere to relax. Anyone else find this time of year hard?
Lots of people find this time of year hard for any number of reasons... In my case, I don't have a home to go home to, nor close family to spend the day with. My father lives in my area, but he's on Marriage #3. The home is his wife's. Any celebration will be his current family's. I will be expected to be alone, and put on the big, glazed "happy smile" if/when he gets around to seeing me again--probably January at the earliest. I also don't really have any friends to do stuff with. And extended family is out--too far away, and I don't feel right in crashing their holiday. So...it's just survive the next week. Or try to. ---------- Post added 20th Dec 2015 at 03:19 AM ---------- This is outside my experience, but I think it can be hard "going back home" when "home" is hugely different world. I think my mother had huge struggles with that at times. She grew up in small town America, and the lifestyle of that town was far removed from her adult life and her aspirations. Funny thing...and maybe my perception is flawed...but it seems like more often lesbians are better accepted. Your family views are not what I'd expect. Again, it's hard for a lot of people. I expect many feel they can't relax for whatever reason.
100% my situation...i basically moved out so i could be more me (whatever that means) and coming back feels like taking steps backwards....
I live with my mom but going to family dinners is horrible. The actually dinner usually ends up fine, but the anxiety leading up to it is enough to make me feel sick at times.
