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Dealing with depression

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RelaxedDude97, Dec 27, 2015.

  1. RelaxedDude97

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    Hey EC. So I haven't been on EC for a long time now. But I'm struggling a bit now and I was hoping I could get some advice from you guys.

    Lately I've been noticing that I have many symptoms that point to a depression.
    For example, I am not able to be enthusiastic about anything, whenever something happens that's supposed to be exciting for me (like getting accepted for university) I just don't get excited at all... I've also noticed that I am tired all the time, not physically, but mentally. For example, when I am with my family or in public and someone tries to talk to me I sometimes do not even have the power to get a full sentence out of my mouth? I am also in my head the whole day, thinking and worrying about all sorts of stuff.

    I have looked these symptoms up on the internet and I now I think I might suffer from depression. I would really like to go to see a doctor and a therapist but I do not want my parents to know. My family is already suspecting me off being gay(which they heavily disagree with and if they'd find out I'd be kicked out of the house, or worse) and I know if they find out about my depression they will get more suspicious and things will get tricky.

    My question to you guys is: what do you guys think is the best thing to do? the best way to get some help?

    Best
     
  2. Jake1997

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    Hey man,

    First of all, congratz on deciding to seach for help, its the first step of recovering!

    Since you're 18 years old, you can make an appointment with your doctor without your parents knowing, and you can go to the appointment yourself too. If you tell your doctor you don't want your parents to know, he/she definitely wont tell them. Even if you don't actually have severe depression, you can get help from a therapist, and in Holland, if you have basic health insurance, all mental health problems are fully covered by the insurance, so if you decide to go see a therapist regularly, even then your parents won't have to know!

    I would definitely recommend to either make an appointment, or to talk to someone close to you who you trust about your problems, because talking about it often already helps a lot.

    Last of all: a lot of gay guys suffer from this in around this age, some from feeling down all the time, and some even from severe depression, but remember, this is only temporary! Í promise you it won't take long until you'll feel happy again!
     
  3. treasure1996

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    I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this alongside unsupportive parents, I suggest you tell a close friend aswell it would help having someone to talk to that is close with you and going to see a doctor would be a good option.
    I wish you all the best
     
  4. bingostring

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    If you are 18 .. do your parents need to know what you say to your doctor? Do you have confidentiality rules in Holland?

    It seems to me that speaking to your doctor as a professional would be a useful step.

    Do you also feel anxious? This can prevent you getting good quality sleep which might explain the tiredness.
     
  5. Euler

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    Your symptoms are indeed indicative of depression and you should seek help. Go see a psychologist or psychiatrist. If you are in a university or high school you can perhaps access the healthcare through them.

    If you are afraid any mail coming to you (doctor's bills, insurance statements etc) might "out" you, you can have your mail delivered to your local post office where you go and pick them up.
     
  6. RelaxedDude97

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    Hey, thank you so much for your advice. The thing I am most afraid of, is that there will be some kind of letter sent to my house from my health insurance and my parents will find out about it.

    I was planning on telling a friend of mine, but I am so afraid it will affect our friendship. I know for a fact he would be okay with me being gay, but I am still afraid things will get awkward because he might think he can't talk about girls with me or something else..

    Again, I am really thankful for your advice.
     
  7. Ram90

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    I suffered from Depression myself years ago when I first realized I'm gay. I was very upset about it and more so confused about my sexuality. Telling my parents wasn't an option and it was a difficult time. It got so bad that I nearly failed my high school year.

    My parents did end up noticing that something was wrong and pestered me about it. I refused to tell them and they took me to a psychologist. I did have a heart to heart with the psychologist, but I'm not one for spilling guts like that. I came to terms with what I was and the fact that I couldn't tell me parents about it.

    I wish I could've found a supportive environment like EC back then, but unfortunatelt I couldn't. I had to handle it alone. I did get past it slowly by locking it within myself. That was the day I entered the closet and decided to wait patiently for the day I could experience being gay in the open some day.

    I'm not saying you should bottle it up within yourself and not tell anyone. My circumstances forced me to do that and I was ok with that. You don't have to be. Depression isn't something to take lightly. I know that now. People deal with problems in different ways and I'm sure that my solution might not work for you.

    This might not be a proper solution, but why don't you try telling your parents that you are upset about some stuff and would want to talk to a psychologist about them? Would they understand?