Christian and LGBT-affirming - help for Christians and those with Homophobic parents

I am a devoted Christian and lesbian (maybe bisexual). I have struggled a lot with reconciling these two things. LGBT people would have me abandon the faith that is so important to me, Christians would have me abandon my sexuality. After much study, I've come to the conclusion that one can be both Christian and LGBT-affirming. I'm sorry for any pain Christians may have caused you.
I've written this in preparation for coming out to my religious friends. I hope you appreciate my story.
Hopefully, this will help someone struggling with similar issues or with homophobic parents. Feel free to post on my wall if you have questions or need help!



On Being an LGBT Person of Faith

I’m not going to lie, I’m scared to write this, but I cannot keep silent. Perhaps Martin Luther felt the same upon writing the 95 Theses. I do not mean to appear arrogant by assuming I’m doing something as revolutionary as that. There are others who have come before me after all. I only mean that I believe God has called me to fight injustice, and therefore, I must oblige. Humor me if you would.
It is far too common now in a days for Christianity to be associated with homophobia. Many LGBT people are atheists in part because they can’t see how they could be created the way they are by God and be scorned by “His people”. This is both unfortunate, sad, and downright sinful on the church’s part.
I am a Christian myself so trust me I understand. I remember accepting the church’s teaching on homosexuality albeit a little reluctantly with the mindset of ‘God’s truth comes before my personal feelings on the matter’. I realize we are creation and therefore have no say in the Creator’s rules. This is a humble concept in and of itself, but it is often abused by people of faith. I beg you to consider with me for a minute the idea that we could be wrong about LGBT people. With God’s grace please continue reading.

Lord, I ask for discernment as people read this. I pray that we would see you as our Daddy and not some distant being. Lord, help us to seek and find Your truth today. We want to glorify and please You. We surrender all our ritualistic, ingrained beliefs and ask You to open our eyes today that we may see like Paul and the apostles. In the glorious name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I will start with my story take from it what you will. I am a 15 year old girl who currently identifies as “not straight”. I was not raised in a Christian home but always found myself drawn to the spiritual. When my friend invited me to her church about 3 years ago, I loved it. Instantly, I fell in love with the idea of Jesus. I debated back and forth back and forth. I wanted to believe in Him, but I didn’t want to believe a lie. Finally, I surrendered myself before Him and told Him I was ready to believe.
It was beautiful. I was filled with joy for the coming months. I had found the God of the universe! Elated and ecstatic, I threw myself wholeheartedly into the church. I went to the youth service, life group, and the main service and served both in elementary and preschool Sunday school as well as the devotions team. I loved it. I read my Bible, prayed, and read as many Christian books and articles as I could. I was the model ‘conversion story’.
As a non-Christian, I’d always fully supported gay people. I saw nothing wrong with their attractions. When I started going to church every weekend, this began to change. My church had a clear stance on homosexuality: love the sinner hate the sin. I found myself believing my pastors and mentors. It was hard, but I was resigned to the fact that God was mysterious, and one couldn’t trust their own moral compass. “Biblical marriage” was after all one man and one woman.
My family had some issues with this. I simply cast it off as something nonbelievers couldn’t understand. “The church loves gay people” I would repeat “The church believes homosexuals were born with a natural propensity to that particular sin, but they are choosing to pursue it”. This along with some of my legalistic tendencies and loss of the original joy I had found in the church prompted my parents to ban me from going for a little while.

At first I was bothered, but now I am only thankful. By removing me from church, I began to encounter Jesus in such a more raw, authentic, and a little bit messy way. I went into public school from homeschool this year. This big shift along with the disconnection from my church family was hard. But there was more struggles to come. I noticed a girl. No I did not merely think she was pretty, no I didn’t just want to be her friend, no I had not felt this way before. I was attracted to her, and I hated it. I was sitting across the room staring at this beautiful girl and dying to get to know her, and inside I’m screaming.

I can’t be gay! I’m Christian. I act completely straight. I look completely straight. I never felt comfortable with girls talking about hot guys, but surely that was just my personality? For 3 long months I cried, and wrote, and read all angles and viewpoints. I doubted my faith, I doubted my sexualtiy, and I doubted the church. For the first time I realized how silly the love the sinner hate the sin attitude was. I had no more control over my sexuality than my hair color. That someone could say my very person was sinful and worthy of hell was horrifying and showed no love whatsoever.
I emailed pastors almost all of which replied saying it was sinful only to act on these feelings. So I was suppose to remain single the rest of my life or marry someone I didn’t truly feel attracted to? I layed it before God. I surrendered my sexuality to Jesus. I prayed in tears “God, I love you so much. If this is a sin, then take it from me or give me the strength not to act on it. Remove any temptation. Don’t bring a bi or lesbian beautiful, devoted Christian girl into my life. I will remain single the rest of my life if the is Your will. I want human companionship though, and if it is ok with You, then bring me peace about all of this and bring a great girl into my life. I love You and trust You. In Jesus precious name, amen.”
I prayed this prayer many times over as I tried to discover what my sexuality even was. I read books by gay Christians and found that I was not alone. I don’t know why I never realized this, but there are gay Christians out there. Some are celibate others in godly marriages. For the first time, I read something by someone else who was willing to give up a romantic relationship for God. I also read some logical biblical arguments against the common belief that homosexuality is a sin. This is what I wanted because at the end of the day Scripture matters to me. Non-Christians would tell me to stop listening to give up on my religion and embrace my sexuality, but I couldn’t do it. A glimmer of hope appeared though. Could it be religious leaders had been wrong? It wouldn’t be the first time …
Bible Passages Commonly Used to Point Out Homosexuality as a Sin
Genesis 19:1-11 – The Sin of Sodom
Traditional Interpretation: Since the 12th Century, this text has been used to condemn homosexuality. Around that time the term sodomite came to refer to male homogenital acts.
This has a lot more to do with gang rape than homosexuality (Judges 19 tells a similar story in Gibeah who end up raping a girl instead of the guy they threatened)
Other Bible passages referring to the sin of Sodom never mention homosexuality they DO however mention that Sodom was “arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned” (Ezekiel 16:49)
It wasn’t a gay city, Lot offered his daughters to them instead
Gang raping another man was done to demean and exert power over the other man (think prison rape)
This has nothing to do with a loving, godly homosexual relationship
The focus of the story is showing love and hospitality to outsiders. Aren’t LGBT people outsiders in the church? Could it be the church is committing the real sin of Sodom by using it to condemn others unfairly?
Leviticus 18:22, 20:13– The Abomination Texts
Traditional Interpretation: These texts demonstrate that homosexuality is such a heinous sin that it is deserving of capital punishment.
The OT is a list of laws specifically for the Hebrew people at that time to keep them pure and set apart from the other nations (Leviticus 18:1-4)
It’s not a moral code, but rather a purity code
We eat shellfish and wear multiple fabrics still today therefore it is hypocritical to use this in the argument against homosexuals
“abomination” simply means “unclean” not “most sinful in God’s eyes”
Romans 1:18-32 (esp. 26 and 27) – The Unnatural Passage
Traditional Interpretation: This is a comprehensive condemnation of gay men and lesbians, and their unnatural sex acts result in God’s judgment upon them.
This is perhaps the most used passage on homsexuality, but if this is what we’re basing our beliefs on you can see why this whole thing is debatable
Several interpretations of this passage exist
Paul was condemning idolatrous practicing and temple prostitution of the ROman fertility cults
This passage condemns only lustful homosexual relationships
The people condemned were heterosexuals acting as homosexuals unnaturally
The real point of this passage is we’re all sinners in need of God’s grace
This is a very specific passage that seems to be referring to a specific example of sinfulness not homosexuality as a whole
This description doesn’t match modern, loving same-sex relationships
So many quote Romans 1 and neglect to read the next verse Romans 2:1 states “Therefore you are without-excuse, O human— everyone judging. For in what you are judging the other person, you are condemning yourself; for you, the one judging, are practicing the same things!”
The sin here is abandoning God
The same word “unnatural” is also used to refer to men with long hair in 1 Corinthians 11 which we tend to interpret in a cultural context
Taking verses in their historical and cultural context is taking the Bible MORE seriously not less
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10 – Abusive Sexual Relationships
Traditional Interpretation: These two passages state that homosexuals are clearly denounced and will not be allowed into heaven.
Nobody really knows what the Greek words malakoi and arsenokotai mean - they have been translated as everything from
1. There is ‘sexual perverts’ (Nestle-Aland Greek New Testament), ‘male prostitutes’ and ‘sodomites’ (New Revised Standard Version), ‘homosexuals’ (Revised Standard Version), ‘the self-indulgent’ (New Jerusalem Bible), and prior to the sixteenth century the word malakoi was consistently interpreted as ‘masturbators.’” These mean VERY different things
One common explanation is that these verses refer to pederasty or the common Roman practice of an older man having a sexual relationship with a young boy
Nobody really knows what these words mean
Regardless, context tells us that these words refer to some form of sexual abuse which is clearly different from a modern homosexual relationship


I’ve concluded that the Bible doesn’t have nearly as much to say about homosexuality as we think, and “biblical marriage” is certainly not exclusively between one man and one woman - think of all the polygamy in the OT. But there’s no Bible very condoning same-sex marriages you say.

1 Corinthians 4:1-6 The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. If you point these things out to the brothers, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, brought up in the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed.

I urge you to do some research, study, and prayer of you own. One resource which is particularly helpful is: https://www.gaychristian.net/greatdebate.php
This website features essays on both sides of the issue.

A couple things to consider before I conclude. Wouldn’t Jesus welcome homosexuals? Would Jesus sit silently listening to the religious teachers of the day? There is so much bad fruit born by our fear, prejudice, and lack of research. Even if we disagree, I hope that you would open your mind and realize that there are devoted Christians who see this issue differently. I want to call the church to arms. May we show Christ-love to all people. May we question what we have been taught, and may we not be afraid to leave the safety of our religion and venture into true intimacy with Christ

I have experienced first hand the distance my sexuality puts between me and the church. Jesus has open arms. May he give us the strength to do the same regardless of our beliefs.
I respect your beliefs, and I know why you hold them. I want the global church to live in love and unity even if we disagree on some issues. I pray that you would consider how you and your church can better love your LGBT brothers and sisters. We want to have open conversations with you and know that we are loved and valued as part of the Church.

Yours Sincerely,
A not-straight sister in Christ






While I was trying to make sense of all of this, I wrote many poems. Here are a few of my favorites:

Peace
A young girl stands
in the cold
snow falls
on her red nose and freckled cheeks

She talks to the sky
asking questions
sharing her doubts and fears
with the God she hopes is there

She begs for answers
for comfort and protection
for the strength to do the right thing
amidst the pain

The snow falls upon her
the night sky is dark
but she is filled with peace
a spiritual peace which exceeds all understanding

Though her soul turns inside of her
confusion and turmoil surround her
prayer , even unbelieving prayer,
brings her the fulfillment and peace
she so desperately needs
This is her proof of God



Two Fair Maidens
Flying on my chestnut mare
wind racing through my brunette locks
like a squirrel
scurrying around my shoulders
I’m a princess
in a woodland forest

riding toward me - a second beautiful princess
delicate and thin
her long dress trails behind her
hair down and wild
gracefully she dismounts

her white horse stands beside her
strong and unafraid
she lights up when she sees me
we run and embrace one another
this is where I belong

I pull her close
never wanting to let her go
“I wish we didn’t have to keep it a secret”
I whisper
“So do I” is her tender response

She fingers my face
I hold tightly onto her hand
she is my life line
my light
in this dark world

“I know I’m suppose to want a prince
but all I want is you”
“I know, I know
my sweet”
her voice quiets me
it has the power to calm the raging storm in my soul

We embrace again
clinging tight to make up for lost time
How long until we meet again?
no answer
hushed goodbyes
“I’ll miss you
my princess, my love”

“I’ll miss you too”
“I love you”
“I love you”
one day we’ll be together
openly, without fear
joined by the Great Author
inseparable
two princesses

Goodbye my love
Goodbye.




Daddy
Rejected
she doesn’t know what she’s done
to deserve this
she can’t control how she feels

“You’re not a real Christian”
they say
Jesus said “Go and sin no more”
they say

“Jesus loves me”
she whispers quietly
but know one hears
her plea for love

She is alone
But in the loneliness she encounters God
In all His love and mercy and power
“Daddy” she softly cries
And He hears her


Knocking at The Door
I stand outside cold and lonely
I see the warm light streaming from the windows of the house
the steam rises from the fireplace
and joyful singing bursts forth

I hurry to the door full of wonder and excitement
Please let me in
I knock 7 times eagerly awaiting my welcome
only no one comes to the door

I knock again, louder this time
perhaps they couldn’t hear me over the singing
but I get no response
the sun drops and the snow begins to fall

Helpless and alone inches away from
rest and heat and light
but no one comes to the door
I knock and knock and knock
...
but no one hears my cries


Paradise
A multitude of people
different colors, different sizes,
different personalities, different sexualities
a glorious feast

All are welcome here
no more worry no more fear
Here in the presence of the Lord
joyful songs and shouts of praise fill the air

Glory to God! He has healed the blind
tenderly he cared for us
no sheep was left behind
all sit in the presence of the Son

Love has won!
Hallelujah, praise the Holy One
no more divisions only love
all are welcome
by the Lord up above