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Dating issue.. Please read.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Random99, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. Random99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2015
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    Location:
    Charlotte, NC
    Gender:
    Male
    Alright so, I've been around here for months making a post here and there when Ive needed support and have had nowhere to go, and it has really helped. So first of all, thank you.

    Anyway, I'm merely looking for advice here. It's probably mainly up to me, but some guidance would be excellent.

    So, I just reconnected with this old friend that I grew up with. Keep in mind I'm under 18 (but over 15). (Don't really wanna give out my real age), Anyways, I think he likes me, he hinted at it a little. I like him too. We are just now talking and stuff, but I have a feeling it will progress into something else..

    Here's the catch. I'm not out to anyone except him and my grandmother whom I trust very much. How would a relationship work where I'm not even out to anyone? He's came out to everyone. In the county I live in, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is homophobic. It's the south. It's a hard place to be gay. If I come out, I'm 99% sure I will lose my best friend. I will also lose many people at school, and I'm sure nobody will talk to me. It honestly scares me. I'm not a very social person in the first place, but I don't want to lose the few friends I do have.
    Anyways.. I guess I'm rambling a bit.

    Any advice is appreciated. Thanks! :confused:
     
  2. arbit

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
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    Location:
    london
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Just look at your avatar - never give up on your dreams. Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances they don't sound great! Secondly, they can't be your best friend if your sexuality would cause them to ditch you; a best friend likes you for the person you are not the person they want you to be.

    What's important to remember here is that you're young, very very young. You have no idea who and where you'll be in 5 years time so why rush in coming out? Don't suppress who you are but don't feel like moving forward with your old childhood friend requires you to pickup a megaphone and broadcast it to the world.

    Speak to your old childhood friend first and get the facts - he might not like you in the way you're thinking at all and all of this worry could be for nothing. That's got to be the first step - no? Then you can start making some justified and conscious decisions!

    Good luck!!