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Help Please: Crushing

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Workingonme101, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. Workingonme101

    Regular Member

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    I am going to say sorry now, my writing skills are not the best. So sorry!

    I am currently in a straight relationship for 5 years, first boyfriend too. When I was high school I didn't really care about a relationship. My relationship was basketball. I got to college fell in love with a boy. He is a great guy. 5 years down the road, I still love him and care for him dearly. But, I do not have that sexual affection towards him anymore. I feel terrible, because he helped me through college and mostly got me through school if it wasn't for him. All I see him as is a BFF.

    Let's just say this, I met this girl and I have been working with her really close for almost a year now. Around Oct or so I started to get deep feelings for her and I find myself really sexually attractive to her. I can't keep my mind off of her. She is on my mind 24/7. It is scary for me, because I was raised in small republican town. If this tells you anything. I know I got a major thing for her. I have admitted that to myself finally.

    Guess what confuses me, is her. I think she is denial too and she was raised as a catholic. But, we look deep into each other eyes a lot. When we are across the room or near by we stare at each other a lot. There been times we will be working and she softly place her hand near mine or softly touch it. She also softly touch my arm before.

    The other day, I wore a tank top and you could see my chest area a little. I was bent over position for a while. I got up, she paused for a second and took a deep breath. Then carried on with our business. I am pretty sure she was checking me out. I caught her a few other times checking me out too.

    I remember when we first met. We were talking about boys, and she said something a long the lines as if she wasn't interested in them as a boyfriend. Which at that time I didn't catch it or think nothing of it. Because, I wasn't into her like I am now. She tends to hang out with boys a lot.

    I have funny feeling she knows how strongly I feel about her. If we are group setting, she does noticed me a lot. She is also standoffish. When it's just me and her, we'll talk perfectly fine. But, group of people she standoffish and will avoid me and talk to others instead of me. I'll catch her staring at me. Also, been a few times I'll be talking to a girl or another group... I have caught her stopping nearby the group or the person I am talking to, and noticed she would be ease dropping into the conversation. I don't know why?! I also seen that glaze in her eyes on the things I have looked up. She hasn't really complicated me, but around Oct. when I started getting those deep feelings. I started to wear more make-up around her. When it just be the two of us, she would say something a long the lines like I'll wear make-up sometimes. But, hardly ever do. Here lately I started seeing her wear make-up.

    Also tried a flirting a bit and few times throw something at her. She finally started throwing stuff at me back and would laugh about it.

    My main concern is.... I know I got a thing for her, just makes me wonder if she has a thing for me?
     
  2. idsm

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    Hello Workingonme101!

    Happy New Year and Welcome to EC!

    I just happened to read your other thread (which was posted on the wrong section) but I thought it would be more appropriate to answer here.

    If she´s not out and proud, approaching directly is probably a bit risky. Especially since you barely know her. Try to befriend her first and see how it goes. Invite her for a cup of coffee or an athletic event, strike up general conversation, talk about yourself and ask questions about herself too. Do not limit your interaction on discussions about your workout and your professional arrangements but try to move your relationship beyond that.

    Good luck! Come back to let us know how it goes! :slight_smile: