Feeling unattractive... (Sorry, this is long)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can relate to you so well.

Based on what you've told us, you're obviously an attractive person, and you believed that you were attractive before the abusive relationship. Other people think you're attractive, and you receive many compliments, so the real problem is how you perceive yourself as a person.

Abuse is a dangerous thing for your mental health. It makes you believe that you are less than the person that's abusing you, and creates a negative self-image. I believe that's what's happening here.

Honestly, this is something that warrants some counseling, but until then, try to focus on how you perceive yourself.

Look in the mirror and give yourself a compliment, once in the morning, and once before you go to bed. Try to find different things to compliment yourself on - your hair, your smile, your personality.

Whenever you find yourself having negative thoughts, pull yourself away from them and reject them.

"No, I'm not ugly. I AM beautiful."

It's going to take a little bit to train your mind to think this way, but it'll be worth it if you allow yourself to.

 

Maybe you need someone to recognize the beauty in you before you'll appreciate your own external beauty.

We can see it and don't need a photo to know you're beautiful.

Don't worry, somebody real will recognize it, too.

 

I was bullied for all of my childhood, I had no confidence, still don't. My advice to you is to make this a battle. Do everything in your power to win this battle. Don't look back, the past is gone, you can't change it. Before you go to bed at night think of three things you are thankful for. When you wake up in the morning smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you will have a good day. Check out some videos online about being confident and meditation. Treat yourself to a new outfit or manicure. Read a positive book. Plan a day trip with a friend or even alone. The past is dead and gone, go forward and win that battle. You are beautiful already! Set yourself free!

 

It sounds like your pretty attractive people dont flirt for no reason it sounds like you have low self esteem and its hard trust me i used to get bullied in highschool for being gay so my self esteem dropped but i overcame that over time what im saying is your attractive it just seem you had a bad experience and it effected the whole way you see yourself over time you will overcome that feeling

 

My first piece of advice to you is to push through this and don't give up. I'm in the same boat as you except the periods where I go through feeling worthless only surface if I'm going through a particularly rough time. I used to feel worthless all the time, but I think one day, something in my mind changed and I just got fed up with crying.

Once you decide to do something about it, you've already taken a giant step forward. There are a lot of self-help books out there for people like us, and therapy is always an option. However, I would only see therapy as a last resort because it can be expensive, and you still have a lot of other options left. I would also suggest the mirror idea because it did help me a lot.

You could also change something in your appearance that you believe would make you feel sexier or more beautiful. I recently dyed my hair to a different color and painted my nails in a design that I thought looked neat. As long as you're not doing it for someone else, it's okay to experiment with the way you present yourself. Hair and nails grow back, and there are a lot of clothes and make-up out there. Also, don't forget to remember the person you are on the inside. The person on the inside is what counts. I'm sure you have a charming personality. I'm sure other people see a charming personality inside you.

These feelings will pass eventually with the right methods and coping techniques. If you have any other questions, or just feel like chatting, don't be afraid to message me. I always have an open ear, and I've been in the same boat with these ugly feelings. I wish you the best of luck!