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Scared of a lot of things

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by whynot, Dec 30, 2015.

  1. whynot

    whynot Guest

    so.. i usually worry about a lot of things.. things that other people don't even spare a second to think about.. makes me a bit petty actually.. i just always overthink things.. and over analyze the things that i do or say.. i'm worried i always make people feel uncomfortable or down when they talk to me because all i ever seem to say are sad things about my life.. i don't know why.. i normally don't talk to a lot of people.. unfortunately, when i decide to talk to somebody.. i somehow lead the conversation to something really depressing or sad.. it's actually one of the reasons why i prefer to be alone.. nobody really wants to hang out with someone so depressing..

    i'm really scared of coming out.. and i don't even know why.. it's not like i'll be thrown to jail.. though most likely i'll be disowned by my parents.. but it's actually a lot better than other people experiences.. some people are bullied or discriminated.. or even commit suicide.. i've thought of that a lot recently..

    i don't want to push people away because of my apparent fixation to the dark aspects of my life.. i only have a few people that i can really talk to.. though honestly only one person knows most of my secrets.. i just hope she doesn't get tired of all my whining and problems..
     
    #1 whynot, Dec 30, 2015
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2015
  2. idsm

    Full Member

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    Happy New Year, cren!

    It´s always good to talk about whatever is on your mind. And it´s ok to sometimes think about sad things and share those too. Bottling up always ends to higher stress levels which can only make things worse. Now, if you are always sad and have dark thoughts, perhaps you should think about it and do something about it.

    Hobbies, exercise, socializing, volunteering and other fun stuff to fill your time are a good way to make you feel better. I can see that you are active here on EC, engage in conversations and have already a few friends (both online and in real life). It seems to me that you are doing good! :icon_bigg(*hug*)

    Don´t worry about not being ready to come out. Sometimes it takes more time. I haven´t told anyone yet either, but hopefully someday I will.
     
  3. whynot

    whynot Guest

    thanks.. happy new year too..

    i did find a good friend online.. in real life, i'm not lucky enough to have somebody to just comfortably tell everything.. it's probably the degree of anonymity of talking to somebody online that makes it a lot easier to say things that i wouldn't normally say..
     
  4. lemur4

    Regular Member

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    hey cren,

    just letting you know that you're not alone. i have(or at least i feel that i have) lost most of my friendships because I'm not able to put on a happy face anymore. Its pretty sad that many people have reached out to me, people that i have had longstanding friendships with, and i never seem to have the will to reach back. I've turned very apathetic since i started questioning my sexuality. Luckily, you do have someone who knows your secrets. I tried talking to my lifelong friend and neighbor about my problems, but wasn't able to communicate. all i can say is that i was listening to Eckhart Tolle(who i am currently studying. i strongly encourage you to watch his videos, specifically on overthinking, and depression!!!) and this lead me to a guy named Ram Dass(who i haven't researched enough yet). Anyway, Ram Dass talked about a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. the stage of the cocoon is dark and unavoidable, but it is necessary for transformation. Just know that if things don't seem like they have worked out, it means that it isn't the end. sometimes pain can help you transform, but you won't know it until it happens.
     
  5. whynot

    whynot Guest

    thanks.. sometimes it's just easier to pretend being happy than having to explain what makes me sad.. i do try to look like i'm happy just so other people would just leave me alone.. actually, only one person ever bothered to ask me how i really feel about things.. and she also tries to make me feel better.. and i actually have met her here..

    people always say that everything works out in the end.. but when i've been through lots of hardships and failed enough times to last me a lifetime, i start to question the certainty that everything will be fine..