Question for Bisexuals - Gender of the first sexual partner?

So my question here is for Bisexual people. More precisely for those who had known that they were bisexual before they had done anything sexual with another person.

The question is: did you have sort of a "rule" that your first sexual partner should be male or female?

I'm asking this, because I'm kind of convinced that my first sexual partner should be a female. I find it interesting to say the least. I'm open for both genders, but I feel like it wouldn't be good if I had sex with a male first.

Any thoughts on this?

 

Why do you think it wouldn't be good if your first time was with a guy?

 

I don't have a logical explanation for that. To clarify further, I don't mean that I think I wouldn't enjoy it. I mean I have this involuntarily conceived idea that says the first one has to be of the opposite sex.

 

That's interesting. Do you know why you feel that way? Do you think sex with someone of the opposite gender would make it more "real" or "valid" to you?

To answer your question as a bi woman, no, I didn't have a "rule." Things just happened when I was in that relationship. I don't think I would feel any differently about the experience had it been a different gender -- and, actually, my "first time" with either gender was equally new, equally exciting and interesting. Because it is different -- but it's still sex.

 

There are different types of bisexuals. Some are gender neutral and wouldn't typically ask themselves the, "which gender first" question in the first place. Others, like myself, have two separate sexual orientations that don't "turn on" at the same time. My homosexuality is more voyeuristic so I was aware of it and acted on it first. I find the question mildly offensive because it implies bisexuals are screwing everyone they can get their hands on. We do have committed relationships with one person with no more need to have sex with someone else than non-bisexuals.

 

I don't think my first partner should be male but I am more interested right now in having sex with another guy than with a girl. So there's a good chance that I'll pursue a male as my first sexual encounter.

 

Well, I don't think it necessarily implies that. Yes, it implies people will have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime but it doesn't really imply that they'll be numerous. Personally, having not done the deed, I'd be curious about having sex with men and with women. That's not to say that I would seek sex with a female if I was in a relationship wih a male and vice-versa but I think one of the fun elements of being bisexual is being able to have two sets of "firsts" in a sense as Lyana mentioned, so I don't really mind if it's a guy or a girl. I'm more into guys atm, but I don't care too much.

 

I knew I was bisexual (but homoromantic) from pretty early on but I never cared about which gender I would get in sexual contact with first. I happened to have my first sexual experiences with girls but just because I had more female friends than male friends and they also seemed to be more "mature" at a younger age than our male peers. We just tested things out together (most of them would now indentify as heterosexual though) and I eventually had real sex with one of them...

 

Haven't had one yet. I think I would want my first to be male because I want my first time to be typical PIV

 

Good question! I knew very young that both male and female were cute to me. Losing virginity has so many dimensions I'm learning. My first penetration sex was with the same sex. I would say share that level of intimacy with someone you feel close and connected to in mind and don't get stuck with what is between the legs.

---------- Post added 11th Jan 2016 at 11:28 PM ----------

I knew young both were attractive. Curious and other things aside my first penetration sex was with the same sex. I'm happy it was a special memory losing my "virginity" for me. My thought is share your sexuality when it feels right to you and don't over think the gender part of it. I would not change anything if I could!

 

Thanks for the answers.

Monraffe: Not every question about bisexuality implies "Bisexuals fuck everyone". This one definitely doesn't.

After pondering the issue for a few days I think I have the solution: I still don't feel comfortable with my attraction towards males. I imagined what I would feel after being with a guy as the first time. I think I would constantly stress over possibly being "totally gay" instead of bi. As if the gender of the first sexual partner would determine if I'm gay or straight, shoving it in my face that it was "just a phase". Maybe I'm afraid that it would cancel out all those years I've known that I'm attracted to both genders.

It's quite stupid actually, because the bidirectional attraction would still be there. But knowing myself I know I would take it as proof of something, like my attraction should be this or that way.

Quite annoying to be honest.

 

My first partner was female, but I still thought of myself as straight then. I eventually came out to myself and her partway through the relationship though.

Thus far, it's been:
1. Cis female (2009)
2. Trans female (2011)
3. Cis female (2015)
4. Trans female (current)

I have not dated a guy yet. The best I've done is I've kissed one at a party and flirted with two others unsuccessfully.

 

I thought this question occurred to everyone. I'm turning out to be very naive.

I thought it should be a male, and when it wasn't, I felt awful. I didn't realize then that it was normal to be with another girl, but I will say that -- even now -- I didn't feel like it counted. I felt like a virgin until I was with a boy.