Hi everyone, Basically on Friday, I'm pretty sure that my boss started to masturbate through his pockets soon after I went up to his desk to ask a question about a work project. It is an open and crowded office floor. I was totally freaked out at the time and didn't respond at all. I just let him finished talking and then hurried back to my desk and sat quietly for 30 mins until it was the end of day. The only problem is that I'm back at work tomorrow and i have no idea how to act. I recently started this job and wanted this job to go well ( I was treated very badly by my last employer). If I leave this job then I think I'll struggle to find another and it's also a shame because I really liked the role and projects. But ultimately I don't want to feel dirty and if my boss continues then I know I have to leave even if that means throwing away my career. I have encountered sleaze bags at work before but I think I've spent the weekend in shock at the audacity of my manager to be able to do that in such an open office. He was looking at my lips for most of the time whilst he touching himself. I don't think I can look him in the eye again. It's creepy. I've noticed him checking me out before but I just put it down to most guys having wandering eyes. Any advice of how I should act tomorrow? Thanks
I would try to act normal and if it happens again, see if anyone else notices or maybe surreptitiously point it out to someone. This is pretty bold behaviour. I'm not saying he isn't doing that but I used to work with a guy who "fixed" himself at least a half dozen times a day. It was so automatic, he just carried on having his conversations. It was gross but he did it indiscriminately in front of guys, too, so I wasn't personally offended just generally offended. If he continues, you can either speak to him or HR. Whichever you're more comfortable with.
I agree with Really. See if it happens again, if it does, ask others if they've noticed the same thing. Maybe not directly, but try to work around it, like does the boss act strange when you talk to him? It is sexual harassment and it not ok. Ever.
This is definitely sexual harassment and should be reported to HR, like right now. Stop this prick from victimizing anyone else.
Thanks for all the advice everyone. Today went ok. It was quite weird and awkward though. I think he knew that what he did was wrong and was trying to make extra conversations with me. I'm going with the strategy of pretending that nothing happened. Here's hoping that I don't regret it! Thanks again.
Hard to know what the right response is not having been there. I would hate to see you toss your career, or him lose his job, if this were possibly a misunderstanding. I think it may be a good idea to keep a note of this and any other inappropriate behavior. If you have to go to HR you want to be able to give the facts of exactly what happened. I wouldn't try talking to him about it unless you have a co-worker with you. If you try to resolve it alone this would expose you to ending up in a "he said, she said" type of situation.
That's true as well, I suppose I was a bit quick to ask she report. It could very weel have been a misunderstanding. I'm not really in a position emotionally to be giving objective advice on this topic, so I'm probably not a very good source for this.
Thanks again for the replies guys. I'm not sure if it was a misunderstanding - I'm hoping I've blown everything out of proportion, but, it was as if he wanted me to see. His hand was moving back and forth diagonally and he angled himself so that he was sitting with his back to the rest of the office (I was standing near the window). And he had a stupid smirk on his face. It was creepy. I'm going to try and stay for as long as I can to get experience and then leave once I can. The digust will fade with time and there is no point in throwing my career away. Gotta laugh at life sometimes. Just want to be able to work at work! DREADING our weekly meetings but hopefully he has realised that it's wrong (he did seem genuinely apologetic through the way that he acted today).
Messenger, I really hope this was a one off and he gets his act together. However, you could keep a diary of things he says or does around you. Obviously, if he acts in an inappropriate way then it has to be reported. But if he makes you feel uncomfortable and your not sure if you are reading the situation wrong it could help you see a pattern and it would be evidence should you need HR's involvement. So dates times and what he said or did. Best of luck!
Thanks Boatman. I really hope so too! There's no point in reporting anything to HR. In my last job I had lots of evidence of the whole team essentially really badly bullying me for two years and they did absolutely nothing. Eventually I had to leave because I was suicidal and realised that I just couldn't take any more. It was having an effect on my physical and emotional health. That's why I really wanted to make an effort with this role - I've put in lots of extra time and was getting on really well with the whole team. I remember thinking to myself about a week ago how different my situation was compared to the year before. I think I jinxed it! If my boss continues and I can't take it, I'll just have to find another job (sigh) or perhaps the heavens above will show me mercy and let me win the lottery so I never have to work again!
If you win the lottery, you don't have to quit. You can just speak your mind now without any worries. "Hey, Mister! I can see what you're doing. Go somewhere private and spare the rest of us this unpleasant spectacle!"
This made me LOL! To be honest, I don't think I would be so polite if I really did win the lottery! :lol:
