I don't know if this is serious enough to be treated like a real problem, but it is actually getting tough for me. I'm a pretty introvert person but I still get hit on by guys A LOT, I also had plenty of guys falling in love with me... but with girls it seems to be the complete opposite. I'm petite and always look younger than I am and I dress and style in a pretty feminine way (not girly, more like gothic/punk rave- style) and wear makeup and heels for special occasions. I just feel like I'm the type of girl that guys might feel attracted to but the few times, I had been around gay women, they just somehow made me feel so extremely uncomfortable. I even tried to overcome my introversion and make eye-contact with people but they either didn't seem to notice me at all or they looked at me like I was some sort of alien that didn't even belong to their group. I couldn't even talk to them and I generally feel like girls are not attracted to me at all. That made me pretty sad tbh. because I can't really have more than sometimes casual sex with a guy... definitely no romantic dating or relationship but that's what I deep down wish for. (It's even more difficult, because I feel mostly attracted to very feminine women as well)
Just eye contact is not enough to assume that women aren't attracted to you. Lol. Perhaps they're not interested or too shy to talk. Everyone has different preferences & someone is bound to like what you're about.
It's not just eye contact but it's not like I don't realize when someone is avoiding me or looking at me in a strange way.
It's just around gay women. Being introvert, I never get to talk a lot with strangers, but they are usually friendly and don't seem to particulary avoid me.
Remember that you can never really know what other people ars thinking, when talking to others all that matters is your own perception of the situation and because of that it is really easy to misread a situation because of insecurities. It seems that you don't feel comfortable around lesbian women, probably because of the sexual tension and it is effectingyour perception of the situation and the women might also picking up on your lack of confidence and reacting to it, maybe even perceiving you as distant which is making them unsure of whether or not you are interested in them or not. There is nothing inherently wrong with anything about you or how you look. You just need to feel comfortable enough around others for both them and you to let down your guards. That's the nature of intimacy. Just be patient and practice and in time you will find it easier to connect in such a way with other women and hopefully you will find a wonderful girlfriend who loves you for who you are. (*hug*) Eveline
I agree with this. If you're uncomfortable, chances are they are noticing this. They may even assume that you aren't attracted to them, since you seem to be struggling to interact with them.
I think your feelings are completely natural and I find what you have said very relatable. Personally for me, I know this is a confidence thing, as I am an alternative feminine type that seems to attract men, but not women (despite naturally orientating myself to people that I know are lesbians). I think as you become more comfortable and talk to people about your sexuality this will start to change peoples perspectives and may lead to more romantic opportunities with the same sex. As somebody who is in a similar position, it is nice to know I am not on my own. Thanks for sharing your post
