Lonely

I know what you're saying. I'm crap at meeting new people but I've recently decided that I need to do something about it because, frankly, I don't want to be alone.

There are a handful of LGBT meetups in my area and I've decided I'm going to try to go to any event that I don't hate the sound of. I'm keeping my expectations low, as you can see but I really just want to do things where I will meet new people, whether they become friends or more or not, any interaction is welcome.

What sort of things do you like? How do you spend your alone time? Even if it's just reading and you think that's exclusively a solo endeavour, maybe there's a book club or sci-fi (or whatever genre) enthusiasts meet up you could check out. I wouldn't worry if it's LGBT or not at the moment. Any new people you meet are a step in the right direction.

You could also be a tourist in your own city. Check out Time Out New York | New York Events, Activities & Things To Do and see what's happening. There must be tons of free stuff to do there. You might even check out who is running some of these events and see if you can help out. That's an instant way to meet new people.

I think you're going to have to force yourself a bit at the beginning. That's what I'm doing and I've met some really nice people along the way.

 

Hey, it pretty rough going through a patch like that and it's totally understandable. We all go through a depressing moment like that and the one thought that comes after, is that it doesn't always have to be that way. You have a choice, especially in a state such as new York. I can agree with what Really has to say. Take advantage of those opportunities to meet like minded people like yourself, though you might not see it right away, you'll see a huge difference. You're not alone when you feel those kinds of thoughts and emotions. I also got a sister that watches my back, and it's also good enough that there's still someone that still cares about me. You're not alone,when there's a gay man out there thinking he might shrivel up and die in solitude because LGBT individuals are in the minority. I can only say is to find that purpose, and that's your journey for you to make. Trust me, I'm a bit of a realist and sometimes people mistaken it for a pessimist, though the things I say (or in this case, type) are true in a sense. You don't have to fit into the stereotype. It doesn't define who you are as a person, a real person.

 

The good news is that you can do something about all the issues you mentioned. The bad new is that it's not going to be easy.

1) You sound depressed and taking care of this should be the first priority. Have you considered talking to a psychologist or a therapist? Once you are feeling better mentally taking care of the other issues will be whole a lot easier.

2) It doesn't sound like you are even attempting to make an effort to meet new people. You will not meet anyone unless you leave your home. Could you take up a hobby where you would meet new people?

3) If you are not happy with your weight and looks, start exercising and eating healthier. Recent studies indicate that regular exercise - even as short as 10mins of running per day - helps with depression in addition to burning up calories. You live in NY so there are bound to be lots of exercise groups for people like you. That's one place for making new friends while losing weight.

Trust me, you WILL feel much better just by trying to correct your situation rather than just sitting home alone. Things usually don't improve rapidly but if you are consistent with your efforts things WILL change to better. And at least you can tell yourself that at least you tried.