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Is flirting with guys online mean I'm not straight

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Tik29, Jan 16, 2016.

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  1. Tik29

    Tik29
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    I know that I like women a lot. wats been troubling me is guys. Aside from watching gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites many times and to talked to alot of guys, some of those convos even got serrious, plus I almost met a few but I get to nervous about it. I've been told that I'm just curious (because of watching gay porn) but does the fact that I'm talking and. Flirting with guys online mean something more and I just don't see it?
     
    #1 Tik29, Jan 16, 2016
  2. RawringSnake

    RawringSnake
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    Not necessarily. You could just be enjoying the attention. We all like feeling desired and/or listened, and that might be enough to push some to flirt with people they wouldn't really date if the opportunity presented itself. In and of itself, I wouldn't take it too seriously as an indicator of your orientation.

    Now, if on top of this you are experimenting with the idea of being something other than straight in other ways, then you might be on to something. As you yourself mentioned, it could just be that you are curious. Whichever the case, there's no need to overthink it right now. Just go with the flow, do what feels right (so long as it's safe!) and you'll find out whether or not you're strictly straight in time.
     
    #2 RawringSnake, Jan 16, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2016
  3. HunGuy

    HunGuy Guest

    Personally I think if someone is "curious", s/he has a lot more going on inside than just mere curiosity. When I was a teenager I used to look at guys in porn magazines and thought about having sex with them, but I thought I was just "curious" and I was convinced that it will pass. It didn't. Your "curiosity" doesn't stem from nothing.
     
    #3 HunGuy, Jan 17, 2016
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Straight guys don't flirt with other guys. And straight guys don't watch gay porn except maybe once or twice for a bit, because they find nothing interesting about it.

    So I am inclined to agree with "HunGuy" that usually anyone who is "curious" for more than a very short period is not straight.

    So a couple of thougths: First, when we start to consider the idea we're not straight, nearly all of us will find reasons to reject that idea simply because society tells us in many ways that being gay is wrong. In the early stages, we completely deny any same-sex attraction, and rationalize any behavior that contradicts this idea.

    As we go through the process of accepting the "loss" of being straight (whether that means being gay or being bi), there are stages we go through in processing the loss: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. They aren't always sequential, but most everyone goes through all of them on the path to self-acceptance.

    So one of the things you can do to help yourself better understand is give up the porn (of all types) for a bit and masturbate without porn, and try alternately thinking about being with a girl in one session, and being with a guy in another session. Then try masturbating without thinking about either, just let your mind wander, and see where it goes if you don't pay attention. Doing these exercises will usually give you a pretty clear picture of where your attractions lie.

    Keep in mind that if you are aroused mostly or almost exclusively by men, it may cause you a lot of anxiety -- and then anger -- as you begin coming to terms with that. It's all part of the process, so do your best to simply experience and be with whatever happens. You can't change your sexual orientation, so really, it's about learning to love yourself however you end up.

    Feel free to post more info or questions here if you want further feedback.
     
    #4 Chip, Jan 17, 2016
  5. Tik29

    Tik29
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    Well I want to add that I mostly watch straight porn but there are times (like a week or two days) where I just watch gay porn. Also, when I go and flirt with guys I'm more confident when I do and it's almost like I know that I can get any guy to like me and to certain degree I like that where as with girls I don't feel as confident. Mind you though I do find women more attractive and have had many "sexual interactions" lol with them
     
    #5 Tik29, Jan 17, 2016
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    I stand by my earlier comments.
     
    #6 Chip, Jan 17, 2016
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