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How do you feel attraction?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Euler, Jan 17, 2016.

  1. Euler

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    I have a question that has been on my mind for a while. Does it happen to you that you see a clearly handsome/attractive looking person but you don't feel attraction to them? I mean they meet your beauty standard and general beauty standards but you don't feel at all attracted to them.

    If this happens to you, do you know why you are not attracted to them. (For example you have heard bad things about them and already have a negative perception of them.)
     
  2. JiminyJordy

    JiminyJordy Guest

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    It kinda sounds like you've been conditioned to not want sex. And boy, does that strike eerie resemblances to my own sexuality.
     
  3. Euler

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    Well, it could be but I do feel actual attraction too and sometimes to people who are not really that attractive at all. I'm just wondering if it is common that sometimes you don't feel attracted to people who are clearly attractive.

    My family and surroundings were not negative towards sexuality and sex although they both were fairly unstable.
     
  4. loveislove01

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    Hm, I feel that a lot- with guys. I'm lesbian.

    I can tell they're handsome, but I feel no sexual desire or wanting to be with them. With girls, it's a different story.
     
  5. Rydia

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    I don't think there's really anything unusual about this, unless I'm misunderstanding your question. I really doubt anyone is attracted to every good looking or "conventionally attractive" person they meet.

    Most of the time, when I feel attracted to someone, there's really no one thing I can put my finger on as to why and while there are certainly people I can point at things that make them unattractive....personality, habits, pet peeves, or whatever, there's some women that I'd probably say they were pretty or whatever, but I'm not attracted to and there's no particular reason, I'm just not.
     
  6. ConnectedToWall

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    My attraction to people doesn't have anything to do with their personality --for the most part. There have been women who were sexy as hell who I was SUPER attracted to, who were basically sociopaths....though I think I did try to convince myself they were not that bad...
    Attraction itself can be hard to describe. I would describe it as a magnetic feeling, or it can feel like a chemical reaction in your stomach--which is basically what it is, I think. Hypnotic by Zella Day, is an awesome song that pretty much describes how I feel when I'm attracted to someone.
     
  7. Kodama

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    Perhaps they don't meet your personal beauty standards. My tastes tend to differ from what a lot of people I see prefer.
     
    #7 Kodama, Jan 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2016
  8. Euler

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    It's not that. It happens even with people who meet my personal beauty standards.
     
  9. HunGuy

    HunGuy Guest

    It does happen to me. When I see someone who's attractive, I sort of acknowledge to myself that they are attractive, and that's it. I don't initiate anything, and most of the time I don't feel aroused or attracted to them. I always think "I won't ever get a chance with someone like that", and I've got used to thinking like that. I guess it's some kind of protective mechanism to avoid rejection and disappointment. It also protects me from being ridiculed for trying anything and failing.

    Kinda sucks...