My pets.....

Warning: This is going to be kind of a weird, rambly-type post

We're putting them up for adoption. My two rats and gerbil. Financially at the moment, we can't keep them. But that problem is a recent one- new medical bills that came up after I initially decided to put them up for adoption. A little while before, we could have technically still kept them. But financially it definitley would have helped. The main reason I decided to put them up for adoption back THEN was because I don't give them enough attention. Rats need about a half hour to hour of playtime a day. I barely take them out at all. And I KNOW that they'll be better off with a different owner. That's why I decided to give them away.

But I just feel like a horrible person. I don't understand why I didn't have the motivation to play with them................ it's just that over time, I've had a hamster, multiple fish, a conure, a parakeet, and two rabbits, plus these three. Out of those pets, I gave away the hamster, conure, and one of the rabbits, and the thing is, the rabbit and conure were given away by my mother against my will- the only one I wanted to give away was the hamster, and I was 7 at the time- kids don't understand the importance of pets.

But here's why I still feel guilty about the conure and rabbit. I was still young when my mom bought the conure, only in 5th grade. My Asperger's leads me from obsession to obsession, and while I've definiltey learned to control that, back then I couldn't. So I quickly became bored with him, and while my mom ultimatley got rid of him because she feared I would breathe in the floating particles from his food and feathers, I had lost interest in him. The rabbit, well I never played with him enough either.

And the thing is, the only pet I can remember giving appropriate attention is my parakeet. I loved him. I miss him a lot.

I don't know. I almost feel like I got the rats as almost a "Next best thing" action, because I wanted another bird but my mother said no.

The thing is, in the future I want to keep birds. But now I feel like I'm just a shitty person. And, mind you, I ALWAYS fed and gave water and cleaned the cages of my pets. I NEVER neglected them. They got vet visits, medicine, everything. It's just attention that I struggled to give.

It's mainly because I procrastinated so bad. As in, "oh, I'll take them out in 5 minutes" and continuing to say that until it was too late to take them out. It's not that I didn't ENJOY taking them out. I did. I love playing with them. I just procrastinated so much.

I don't know. I love animals, I really, really do. And part of me feels like I'm just not responsible enough to EVER have pets again. But the other part of me thinks that if I try hard enough to be more responsible than I could keep birds when I'm an adult...........

I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. Advice, I guess. Maybe for someone to say they've had a similar experience.
I just don't know.

 

Thank you so much for replying Well, as a last minute "I will seriously have a mental breakdown if I do this" moment, I asked my mom to keep my gerbil. The rats had to be given away, and it is for the best. But my gerbil does not require as much attention, and he isn't as costly because he doesn't eat as much or use as much bedding. I feel a little better knowing I kept him. He was given up once by another family, and I took him in. I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of him losing another family.

I've resolved that I will work to improve my time-management skills and overall responsibility, and hopefully someday I will be able to give more high-maintenance pets the attention they need