I'm on another site where there is a discussion going on regarding holding hands in public. Some are saying that not holding hands in public could be a deal breaker, or that they wouldn't go out with someone that wouldn't. One went so far as to say it was a sign of internalised homophobia if their partner wouldn't hold their hand in public and that they should see a counsellor. I don't want it get into an argument over there so I'm asking here. Is it a deal breaker? Or are other forms of showing affection, looks, smiles, etc enough?
I don't know if it's as severe as homophobia, or needing a counselor. In some cases, yes, that might be the issue. But there are also people who just aren't as willing to display affection either in public, or at all. I wouldn't call it a deal breaker, but it would certainly be something I'd talk about with the individual. If it does end up that they're just more reserved, then that's fine, and something for me to work around. If it IS internalized homophobia, then it's something for us to work on together. Depends on the situation, I guess. But not a deal-breaker.
I disapprove sexualized PDA's in general and irrespective of who is doing it. I mean I don't like it when straight couples do it or when gay couples do it. Occasional hugging and holding hands is OK to me but kissing or eating out your partner is not. It's not that I'm disgusted by it but it merely feels awkward to bystanders. What I hate the most is when I'm alone with a couple and they are on each other all the time. I get the feeling like I'm intruding into something.
I don't really have much of a problem with public displays of affection in most cases. People kissing in public doesn't bother me all that much, a full makeout would certainly be awkward to most in a public setting though I don't recall ever seeing that. I could understand my (hypothetical) partner being uncomfortable with things like kissing in public. However, I think I would be bothered if they were unwilling to do something as simple as hold hands, even in LGBT friendly settings, after a considerable amount of time into the relationship (say, 6 or 8 months).
I’m not crazy about watching couples act overtly sexual in public – regardless of whether or not they’re same sex or opposite sex. I would have no problem with someone who wanted to keep these sorts of things private. Hand holding is another matter. I see nothing wrong with hand holding and I think I would be worried about being with someone who was unwilling to hold hands in public. That would signify to me that they might view the relationship in a shameful light. I don’t think I’d like to be with someone who is ashamed of the relationship and who worries about what others think to the point where hand holding is taboo.
