It not that i feel like im special but i feel like im a wierdo and dont fit in anywhere. Im a closeted lesbian age 25 who has never been with a woman. I fit absolutelly no lesbian stereotype and at the same time i fit them all: i am always assumed to be straight, i am both femenine and "low key" when it comes to dressing but i also like playing football. I feel like i dont fit anywhere as: 1. I love my straight friends to bits but i feel that i am not one of "them" 2. Most of the lesbians, if not all, i know i have met through football and i also feel like im not one of "them" either. No offence please but i feel like i have nothing in common with them beside being gay (which for me is not a reason for 2 people to be friends) Sometimes deep inside i hate to feel this way but i feel i am not good enough for my straight friends (like they are doing me a favour by hanging out with me) but aswell i feel like i am in no way related to the lesbians i know... Maybe there are other lesbians in the closet that feel like me and that is why i cant feel related to anyone but it feels like a very lonely place to be in as i only have crushes on girls who show interests on guys
CL1990 – I can sympathize with your feelings completely. I’m gay, but don’t fit the stereotypes. As a result, I don’t feel like I really “belong” in either the gay or the straight community. Stereotypes are a huge problem because they try to put people in predefined boxes which have certain characteristics. If you don’t have characteristics X, Y or Z you don’t get to go into the box. When you find you don’t fit into the box, you feel ashamed – like something is wrong with you. Stereotypes aren’t reality – they are devices fabricated by a society that wants to make the complex simple. The reality is that there are likely more people that DON”T fit the stereotype than do. You just don’t see them because (a) you’re not looking for them and (b) they don’t stand out. Frankly, if I were you, I would be thrilled that you don’t fit the stereotype. Who wants to be a stereotype? Not me! Better to just be you.
I've never fitted in either. Finally decided that's ok. I certainly don't fit any of the labels - not butch, not femme, not androgynous, not...you get the idea. I'm a oddity. A little femme, a little butch, a lot odd. Enjoy it. With luck you'll attract the odd ones.
Why is it that you guys feel you don't "fit in" with your straight friends? Why do you feel not fitting stereotypes means you don't "fit in" with other gay people? Very few gay people I've ever met 100% fit some pre-defined role. Most of my friends are straight, because most of the people I've ever met are straight, which makes sense....there's more of them after all. Two of my closest friends are lesbians, and a couple of my friends are gay men, but that isn't what the basis of our friendship is. I wouldn't say my friendship with them is much different than my friendship with my straight friends. One of my gay friends is a very stereotypically flamboyant gay guy, but the rest of us fit some stereotypes and not others. For the most part, my friends are all very different people. I think the only real common denominator is that they're all pretty intelligent and we share some similar interests, hobbies, etc.
