I have been dealing with depression all year and my school guidance counselor knows this. I recently started seeing a psychiatrist outside of school, but made the mistake of telling my school counselor this. I HATE my school counselor. My parents really ignore me 99% of the time, and whenever they hear about my life at school, they make me miserable. Therefore, my emotional support comes entirely from teachers I trust who have to report anything alarming I say. A few days ago the school counselor informed me that from now on she will be reporting everything my teachers report to her to my psychiatrist. I live in Virginia, and I was under the impression that that wasn't legal here. It takes me some time to trust people, so I don't entirely trust my psychiatrist yet. There are some things that I'm not ready for her to know. Today, I very nearly started cutting. I want to tell one of my teachers this, but he would have to report it. If I could talk to him, I would be much less likely to cut. I don't like that the school counselor would find out, but I'm definitely not ready for my psychiatrist to know that. Is it legal for my counselor to contact my out of school therapist without my parents' consent?
Under Federal law (FERPA), with very few exceptions (none of which apply here), your school cannot reveal *anything* about you to anyone (other than "directory" information, such as your name and grade) outside of the school without your parents written consent. To do so is a violation of your confidentialty rights, and there are severe penalties to the school system and perhaps to the individual counselor for violation of these rules. The relevant portion of FERPA is quoted here: Virginia state law is nearly identical: There are a lot of counselors with really shitty boundaries, and it appears yours is one of them. I would go to your school principal, armed with the links to FERPA and the Virginia state law, and make it clear that if the principal won't assert your rights and ensure the counselor won't disclose information that you will contact the local office of the ACLU and your local school superintendent. This is one of those things where if you're polite but firm, and it's clear you know what you're talking about, they should immediately take action, because otherwise, there can be very severe repercussions (the counselor could lose her teaching license.)
I just realized I forgot to mention that I go to a private high school. I know that changes my rights considerably (such as when they didn't have to comply with Title 9 when my friend was sexually harassed).
FERPA is only enforceable for schools that receive Federal funding of some sort. Most schools, even private ones, do. But if your school didn't have to enforce Title IX, and didn't want to... what kind of a school is it? A right-wing fundy Christian school or something? I find it hard to imagine a school other than a ridiculously conservative Christian one that would want to admit they're in favor of sex discrimination and harassment. But FERPA or not, I still think you could probably make a stink and ACLU would likely be willing to get involved... which no Christian school is going to want. So most likely they'll still get the counselor to STFU. That said, though... counselors at some Christian schools are pretty crazy and have zero boundaries so it might require persistence.
It's actually a really liberal school with no religious affiliation. The guidance counselor just sucks. After having to go through the stress of explaining herself to 90% of the administration each time the last administrator she told did nothing, they finally agreed that since she had a few witnesses who could say that something fishy was going on, they would switch her out of the classes she had with her harasser. They notified the harasser of what she had accused him of and then did nothing to protect her from him after they told him. This entire situation was managed by this same guidance counselor and the freshman dean of students. She keeps saying she's just going to make these phone calls to my psychiatrist so she can make sure I'm "making the best use of therapy." I might talk to my psychiatrist about what kinds of things she would report to my parents, and if she doesn't have to report much, then maybe I can strike a deal with the school counselor so that if she's reporting to my psychiatrist, she maybe won't need to report to my parents. I know that the first call she makes will probably include information about my past suicidal thoughts and certainly the cutting thing if she finds out. Now that I think about it, if my psychiatrist doesn't have to tell my parents, then I might actually be able to manipulate the situation so that I can get help without having to put up with my parents telling me that mental health isn't a real thing and that I'm just being dramatic and acting depressed because I want to fit in with the other gay kids.
