Hello all! So last year I was crushing on a girl at grad school, and my other friend, let's call her "J," knew all about it because I would vent and talk to her all about it throughout the time it went on. That stupid crush ended quickly, thank goodness, and I came out to the rest of my family in the summer, with J's encouragement/support. Everything has been great until last month when it hit me: I had started developing strong feelings for J. She told me once that she had feelings for another woman at one point, but that's when I was so self-involved and stupid, I had no thought to ask her about it at the time. So flash forward to now, she's been texting/sending me snaps way more frequently, asking me things like "want to come over to watch a movie and relax?" which I feel is the more sophisticated way of saying "Netflix and chill" haha. The blizzard hit our city last night so I really thought that maybe she was thinking of it in a 'more than friends' type of way because I could have easily gotten stranded without transportation back from her house. Anyway, I couldn't do it last night because I had a guest visiting from out of town, but now I'm like really interested in finding out what she wants/if she likes me. I asked if she would want to get together tonight, and she's been texting me throughout the day, but no response yet about getting together. I'm really into her now, and this time it's so different because I feel genuinely amazing feelings and not self-conscious at all. The only thing is, I would never want to confess my feelings and ruin our friendship if she doesn't feel the same way. What am I to do?? I cannot stop thinking about her! :bang::help:
You could always try to ask her about that time 'when she had feelings for another woman' or just if you guys are talking about stuff like that ask her if she's into someone etc., without being too intrusive. Rather than confessing and possibly destroying a friendship like that, you could just try to flirt and hint a bit; Idk how long you've been in love with her, but it might be better to take a defensive apporach on this; should you feel like weeks and months go on without making any progress and your head almost explodes because you're thinking too much about her, you should consider to confess.
I agree ^^^. Just relax and hangout with her as a friend. If one thing leads to another and you both are feeling eachother, then go with it. But initially I'd just hangout with her and try not to think too much about it.
Sounds like she's into you maybe you should take her up on the offer of watching a film with her, or invite her out for something to eat before heading back to hers to watch a film you could try a little flirting with her during the meal and see where it leads. I agree with other poster stop over thinking it and go with the flow
Thanks for your responses, everyone! I asked her to go out next week for dinner, we'll see what happens. I know she had a serious boyfriend in the past, but I keep thinking about when she said she had feelings for another woman before. I wish I knew. Anyway, I think this is going to be fun because I made it for her "1/2 birthday" which I know is so lame but she laughed and thought I was "cute" for knowing that. So we'll see what happens. Part of me wants to just stop all of this so I don't end up getting majorly hurt again.
