Well hello there people. I am a 23 gay boy leaving in the shittiest country for LGBTQ+ peoplen There is even a death penaltt for homsexuality. I can't afford to leave this hellhole either. I am really obese and not good looking at all. Among all other gay people I see around me they just want to sleep around and none of them looks for a serious relationship. No one in real life supports me. I know online support from people from here or other online friends can feel good but I almost don't know any of them. So I am rjinking about killing myself... like I was thinking about it since I was 14.... I think it's the time now...
Hey there, we have talked before and you were my match for the Holiday matchmaking. I'm not very experienced with giving advice for this, but I will say suicide is not the answer. I'm sure you feel hopeless, lost, confused, and like there is no reason to live at this point, but there are so many reasons to keep living and pushing on. You said you can't afford to leave, but maybe that can become a goal of yours. Imagine how amazing it would feel to leave that hateful country and go somewhere accepting and loving. It gives you a goal and I'm sure that would feel amazing to accomplish. Obesity is something that can be changed and is something that can be another goal for you. It's not easy, but if you really find your obesity a problem, you are already on the right track. You have the sense of mind to know you should change; noticing a problem is the first step to fixing it. Try to start small, liking cut out sweets or junk food once a week and then gradually work your way up. It's not easy, but weight loss is possible. Looks are so interpretational. I have been told by so many times before that I'm cute or good looking, but still see an ugly person when I look in the mirror. I have probably posted 100 times on here about how ugly I am. There are people who will find you attractive, I promise you that. We are our toughest critics and we all have our flaws. And while I'm new to the dating scene and have never been in a relationship, I have hope there are guys looking for something serious. It's weird because I had the same assumption as you, but then I tried online dating for a little and so many guys were searching for something serious and not just looking for a hook-up. There are gay men out there who want a serious relationship, you just have to be willing to do some searching. It's weird because just yesterday I had some suicidal thoughts. I used to have many of these thoughts about two years ago, but lately I get them once in a while when I'm by myself and have way too much time to think. Fortunately (not really fortunate, but still), they seem to last a day and then I get over them. Just think about how many people who would miss you, not only on here but in life. We seem to have this feeling that no one will miss us, but I know you will be missed by so many if you committed suicide. Don't let your evil thoughts win, you are stronger than them. I wish you the best, but please, suicide is not the answer.
Hi there! First of all, I would like to say you ARE beautiful, because I see a sincere human talking. I can understand your feelings, considering the position you are in, but suicide is not the answer for your problems. Life IS. It's not all roses and sunshine, because life in movies is everything but real, and sometimes you will hit a rough patch. It may sound weird of me to say 'keep positive' when your situation seems desperate, but an opportunity will arrive soon enough! As previously already mentioned, set yourself some goals, a perfect-world bucket list if it were, because you will have something to look forward to, imagine leaving your country and moving to one where homosexuality is accepted, and supported! Never stop believing that this may very well happen one day! I most sincerely wish you the best in life, and hope you can set your negative feelings aside, or at least not letting them control you, and I hope you will find your Romeo one day, because he is out there! Keep strong!
Thanks for the wishes that made me smile. ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2016 at 09:45 PM ---------- Nice one. That's a sentence to remember.... ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2016 at 09:50 PM ---------- Oh hi there. It's great seeing you again. I try to have goals but they are really hard to achieve. I mean if I ever get to leave this country that would be terrifying .... starting a new life sounds extremely hard. But then again thanks for the wishes...
Have you explored the possibility of claiming asylum in another country? It would mean a new start and breaking away from anything that is familiar to you, including family, (so it's not something to consider lightly) but it might be a way of progressing beyond the despairing thoughts that you are experiencing right now. Is this something worth future consideration? When you are very depressed it's important to talk about how you are feeling; to share the pain and anguish with people who care, otherwise the pressure builds and before long everything seems beyond hope. When you come to EC you have a whole forum of people to talk to -- many will read your posts and wish good things for you and others will respond, if they can. Talking things through helps to release the frustration and can help you get through a very dark day, so don't bottle things up. We are here for you.
I really don't think that I can break away from my family. I am from a very family-oriented culture so at the moment I am highly depended on them. And yeah EC is really good. When I posted this thread it had been a week that I left the house but I could have some progress after reading yours and other people's messages.
Unfortunately I don't know you well enough to give you some profound reason or advice that might change your mind. I can tell you that the thought of you killing yourself, whether I know you personally or not, saddens me deeply. I truly hope you reconsider and try to start believing that your worth and happiness are not created by the world around you. You can decide those things for yourself. I just really hope you don't hurt yourself. I care.
