But probably not in the way I like him. This guy. Damn this guy! I met him at the university and we are hanging out a lot for like 7-8 months or something. We have some good laughs and fun in general, we do uni projects together and stuff like this. So, during these months I think that I have developed some feelings for him. The problem started like two or three weeks ago. He is far more playful with me, and he touches me too much in the hands (he is basically trying to hurt me in a silly way, you know). Sometimes he messes with my hair. I have also noticed that he stares me a lot more lately. He is basically bugging me physically all the time. This shit is unbearable for me, every time he does this, my stomach gets weird, my heart beat increases and you know... the other thing rises from the dead . I just wanna grab him and do bad things to him . Thing is that I am in the closet, although, he and our friends wouldn't be really surprised if I told them that I was gay, they just don't care about it, but, I just don't wanna share it (yet). He is also supposed to be straight. My gaydar is shitty too. He is talking too much about hot girls and stuff (I do the same too lol) but he doesn't have currently a gf or ever mentioned about a previous gf. I don't really know how to handle this, sometimes I wish I was straight. Straight people got it much easier, for F*** sake. Should I just tell him to stop touching/teasing me all the time, as all this action makes me feel uncomfortable because I am secretly gay and like him? Isn't it weird?
Do you ever get to be alone with him, or are there others always around? If you are really interested in him and think he may be secretly interested in you (sounds possible based on your description), try to get him to hang out with you alone in a private place. Nothing might happen the first time, but if there really is desire he might catch on to what you're doing (trying to spend more alone time with him). Just don't try to force anything too soon in case he is just being playful. It may be painful to take it slow, but it is usually for the better in unclear cases such as this.
Could it be that he is in the same exact position as you are? This is always the paradox. Two people are in the closet, neither wants to be the first one to come out for fear that they made an incorrect assumption about the other. As a result, both end up torturing themselves endlessly over speculation about the other. This loop plays out over and over again until someone breaks the cycle and says something. It's totally understandable that you don't want to come out. It's scary and it's risky to tell people for the first time since you don't know how they'll react. What you could do is try to indirectly bring the subject to the foreground. You could mention that you have a gay family member (which you do - you!) and ask him what his thoughts are. You could mention that you saw an LGBT campus event going on - and just sit back and see what he says (if anything). You could mention that you heard some movie star or singer or political leader recently came out as gay - and see what he says. The goal is just to get a better gauge of where he stand before you decide whether or not you want to share your feelings with him. It will reduce risk and build confidence.
If you're close with him and you might get some time alone and should the timing be appropriate, you could always just ask him if he's straight or not. Just try to take it slow, in case he really is straight and is just teasing you a lot.
