Usually, I don't let myself get flustered by this. I'm so quick to flip back at people who attack sexuality and gender issues on the basis of religion but today my mom had the most condescending conversation with me about how I'm lost and I have to find god. She doesn't know I'm bi but it made me think about religion a lot and I almost had a panic attack because it's freaking me out. What if God created homosexuality as a sin we had to resist? what if God is actually a cruel-ish being and he created homosexuality and gender queer-ness, but especially homosexuality (because it refers to me) as a plight that tests faith. I know how horribly stupid this sounds because I don't think God is some satanic being that wants his creatures to suffer. I'm usually not even religion, especially not devout to the words of the Bible. I don't know. It was just a crazy thought and I keep thinking about it. I was raised a Christian and I moved away from it as a got older for many reasons, but sometimes I wonder if I really am gonna go to hell. Please don't be offended by this, I really want someone to just...talk to me about it. Because honestly, I have so many issues with faith and religion that I've never confronted and I feel like they're all piling up on me now, maybe especially because I know that my own mother will one day look at me and think I need to be saved, or I'm going to hell. I'm so scared and I feel so lonely, I'm not really sure what to do. I don't really have friends that would understand enough that I can discuss this with. Thanks for anything
I don't believe in gods so it's a bit hard to say anything. However, maybe you could think it as this way. Suppose you are right and God created all non-straight stuff just to test faith of some few selected people. Now why do you even care if you pass the test? Even if there is an almighty God I see no reason to obey all of his freak obsessions. If he is going to toss gays to hell for failing to resist their urges I'm pretty sure most people - not just gays - will end up in hell anyway. If God created us and no one else, then everyone's life is predestined and we cannot affect it's outcome.
That's true, who the hell if gonna end up in this theoretical heaven if people get thrown in for loving others. Everything about this is so theoretical. God is so theoretical, it astounds me.
(*hug*)I've always seen it as God did create homosexuality, but I don't think He would punish two people for loving each other. I know what you're going through. I believe that there isn't this giant fence in between Heaven and Hell. I believe that it's more like a spectrum, with what we imagine Heaven and Hell to be like at opposite ends. There is a verse in the Bible that helped me. If you want it, it's John chapter 14 verse 2 and it says "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." I hope that this helps and remember that we're here for you. (*hug*)
This is a complex issue, but the short answer is no. You are fine and God is okay with it. What really worked for me was to start doing my own research into it. If you google it, you will be able to find tons of essays about how christians have been able to see that their love isn't a sin. You can also research and learn about the ways that interpretations about the bible have evolved through out the years. A good place to start would be this documentary: For the Bible Tells Me So [YOUTUBE]HpJAucyX7RE[/YOUTUBE] It will touch on the basic things, and allow you to start doing your own research into it.
God is love. You seem to really believe in God and even if not a very religious one, you are christian. God accepts all of his children equally and regarding Christianity, he is said to be the most generous and loving being - so no, I am pretty sure that God is not cruel. Christians believe that God made us, he made you just the way you are and you're perfect just the way you are, that includes your sexual orientation and whom you love. You are not going to hell, girl. And don't you dare worry about that. That place is reserved for a bunch of people but you're not one of them!
If we read the Bible very carefully and take time to understand the history and context surrounding the problem passages we begin to see things in a very different light. It's really not that difficult because there are only a few passages to focus on out of the sixty six books that make up the protestant Bible. Unfortunately, some conservative and fundamentalist Christians have no interest in Biblical literacy and "believe it as they read it". It's an absurd way of approaching scripture but it's widely practised I'm afraid and some churches promote this narrow understanding amongst their worshippers. It sounds like your mom (OP) has such an attitude. Move through the books of the Bible and it's easy to see how the perception of God changes from wrathful and vengeful, to more loving and benevolent. By the time we get to the end of the Old Testament, we see a marked change in the narrative and the overriding message of the gospels is that God loves us. If we follow the Christian faith (even loosely) our emphasis should be on the teachings of Christ, rather than a load of nonsense spouted by some warped Pastor about sin and hell, just because we happen to love people of the same sex.
Does it make sense when I tell you that I believe there is a creator but I just sometimes don't believe in how the bible portrays him to be sometimes I think that the bible has been passed on for so many centuries who knows if someone changed something for there own good please don't judge its just something I think about as well since I have really conservative Christian parents
