i am having a hard time accepting my heart is broken again. i went so long mending my heart, and rebuilding myself...and now that i have to redo all of that, it's been hard accepting it. I'm kind of going through a million phases, first it's anger, then it's "i dont give a fuck" then it's maybe i do, and finally, i break down crying. i went a couple of weeks without crying, and just felt numb. then after that, i became very hostile, everyone has been getting on my nerves. like my best friend jordan keeps talking about this boy she likes, and it's like i'm happy for her but this guy just got out of a long relationship, and i told her in my opinion, i would give him some space, and not push anything...and she got really mad at me for it but i'm done holding back what i really think. but regardless, me and her have been having a bunch of tension built up, and i feel bad because we are planning to move in and i dont want to be this way. towards her or anyone. I promised myself i wouldn't let my heart get broken again but i know deep down that people have to go through heart break to find the right person for them, and work on themselves . i just hate myself for feeling this way. it hurts so much, and i just am so lost. ive finally just broke down crying a lot more within the past couple of days. i've been way more paranoid about everything... and i feel so alone, and i hate being this way. it took me 4 years to just get over my first love, to trust people again, and to let myself be happy...and some girl breaks my heart and i have to start all over again and i think im having a hard time accepting that. what would be your opinion on how to deal with this? i know time is a key factor but is there any remedies that would ease the pain? with my first heartbreak, i just had a bunch of sex, and then settled down last year and reflected everything.. but every heart break is different...and i mean, i made out with this girl but when i drove home, i just broke down crying because i just...i really didn't want this to happen again but it did...and i just its hard to accept... i cant find pleasure in flirting, and talking to other girls anymore so now im stuck thinking and crying for 24 hours so if anyone could tell me their opinion, or advice on this subject, it would be greatly appreciated.
I understand that heart break is a difficult thing to accept, but I believe that there is a destined person out there for everyone. Like you said heart break is something everyone has to go through in order to find the right person. You are still young and tat means you still have a long road ahead. It can be tough to handle heart break but it just means that you are human. So get a little mad, get a little upset, and when you've had enough cry it all out. It sounds like you have already been through those steps. Now you just need to accept the fact that there are better fish in the sea and you have the whole world ahead of you. Right now it hurts, but when you find someone you truly love it will be worth it in the end. Like the say goes "Time heals all wounds." You have to give yourself time to be single and then find someone that is truly worthy of you. Everyone has someone they completely connect with in the end. On the subject of your friend. I believe you should just tell her what's been going with you and why you said that about the boy she likes. Your best friends so she will understand. Although it may be best for you to just let her ask the boy out. If she feels like it can go somewhere. Be strong friend! You got this!
I agree with Eye Shine. You should relish in the opportunity to be single now anyways. After heart break, after getting through the immediate reaction, you will grow and become a stronger, more worldly, and much smarter person. Overall you will just grow. And you can just take the time to enjoy yourself. People are great, but sometimes you just need to be you with nobody else but friends and family. Remember you're a great person and if someone broke your heart, if they ended things with you, then they don't deserve you anyhow. Everyone deserves someone who knows they've got a gem all to themselves and are willing to keep that gem for as long as possible. It's not easy to move on, but accepting you deserve someone who'll see you as someone who deserves another person who will appreciate you better is very important I believe. Stay strong, and do work things out with your friend. Especially if you plan on moving in together. I know it's not easy to accept when others have crushes or relationships after you had your heart broken, but because you're suffering doesn't mean they have to be alone too if they have a chance not to be and don't want to be. Best of luck and hope you pick yourself up soon.
her breaking up with me didn't break my heart, the way she treated me afterwards what was what broke my heart.. If I'm honest. That relationship was honestly kind of stupid even if I may miss some of the memories. People are going to miss some of the memories in a relationship even if they know it wasn't a good idea in the first place. It just hurts to know that the person I genuinely trusted and cared about just flat out treated me like shit after breaking up with me. Because I was willing to just be friends and just be there for her. I wanted to be there for her more than be with her. But the way she treated me just kind of killed me. I had been single for 4 years before her. And I don't count that as a relationship we had anyway because it was like hardly a week. You know? I've learned after her that you don't need to love someone to get your heart broken. And I think I'm just having a hard time with the after effect. I don't want to have to learn to trust people, and battle my depression. I didn't want to have to do all of that again. But I know I'll have to unwillingly. Im use to being single honestly. Getting in a relationship wasn't ever my first priority. I have one more question.. Does anyone know the best way to learn to trust people again? I think what really threw me off was when she held me while I broke down crying, and said "I'm not gonna leave you" because after the break up, she ignored me and called me names...and just made fun of me. And it was like now I know that people can do certain things like hold you when you're crying , and not want to. I was always told that they'd be there for me but I never been shown it until she held me that night and that's when I finally trusted her. But now that she basically lied about caring about me. I'm going to have even a harder time trusting people when they want to help me. So if you guys have any advice on that too, it'd be appreciated. Thanks for the previous advice. As for my best friend, she already asked this guy if he liked her back and he said yes, but I mean in my opinion I don't think someone who gets out of a long relationship , likes someone that fast. He said he's confused about his feeling and I basically just told her to be careful and not get her hopes up too high. And I know she'll do what she wants, but I didn't want to lie to her and be like "I'm so happy for you" when really the situation itself just doesn't feel right to me. But regardless, it's only my opinion at the end of the day
If she treated you badly after the break up there is probably a deeper meaning behind the break up which you might not be aware of. I would say there are two options left for you with your old gf. One is to just forget about them entirely, and the second option would be to actually sit down with her and talk about your feelings. I would only suggest the latter if you truly want to go through all that to be friends with her again. You may not count that relationship you had with her, but it is possible she would. Different people have different time frames and conditions that constitute what they would deem as a relationship. Trust is a difficult situation and is very different for everyone. I think there are two ways people tend to go with trust. One is that they give all new people that they meet and like the benefit of the doubt and after a certain self designated time frame they fully trust them. They are very willing to confide in them because they feel like it is okay to. The second would be to not trust anyone at first and slowly very slowly start to trust them. Then maybe after a few years they have finally reached full trustworthy status. I would suggest that you go with the latter and to not give anyone your full trust at first. They have to earn by being kind to CONSISTENTLY over a long period of time. It sounds like your best friend is actually doing pretty fine. It's quite possible that the boy she likes was actually having feelings for her in the middle of his last relationship and that could of contributed to his long term relationship breakup in the first place. Yet again, not too sure on that. On a final note I highly believe there is something going on with your old gf. That is a drastic change in behavior from comforting a crying person to calling her names. Humans are complex and strange creatures. We have overactive minds and our emotions can get the best of us. There is probably an underlying cause to this whole situation, but I believe the only person who can answer what that is. Would be your old gf. At this point though i might not be worth your time to figure out the cause. Anyway have a great day.
I don't know. I tried reaching out to her. And she ignored me time and time again so I've completely stopped messaging her for almost a month now. She sent me a song "sorry" by JB, like a month ago and then she straight up ignored me when I tried to talk about t. So I mean, if she really wants to tell me something, I think she will on her own but I've kind of came to realize that it's not worth to beg her to talk to me. If she wants to , she will. How she treated is unacceptable in my opinion regardless of the cause. I mean if you've read my old threads about her, then you'll know the full story I think but i don't think I deserved that. I was only there for from the beginning, and after we broke up and she posted that thing about wanting to die, and I told her I was here for her, and she had responded with. "I don't want to be with you, why are you texting me?" And i was done at that point
I say more power to you! If it's not worth it to try and patch things up then absolutely don't do it. Just live your life the way you think is best. Heart break will inevitably come again, but I feel like this situation has made you a lot more powerful than you think.
