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Upset and needing advice!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lavender23, Feb 13, 2016.

  1. lavender23

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    I am a 20 year old girl dating a 22 year old girl, whom is slightly more experienced. So last night we had plans for me to spend the night at her house while her mom was away. To be completely forward we were eluding to sex for a while, it wasn't our first time together as we've been dating for about 4 months. Were still getting to know one another though. I go over there and things are getting hot and heavy and I end up going down on her first and such. She finishes, we take a break, cuddle, get water. We talk for a little bit and kiss but she's like not getting the hint that hello! I am still here the break has been long enough. So I don't push her but we are cuddling some more and then I ask her if she's falling asleep and she says yes! I was so upset that I ended up leaving. I felt used and she wouldn't even own up to the fact that she completely ignored my needs. I also feel selfish for being so upset about it. Am I wrong here? Does this happen often, because never in my experience have I had someone do this or have I even think to do this to someone! I don't know how to deal with this situation.

    Thank for taking the time to read, any advice would be much appreciated!
     
  2. JiminyJordy

    JiminyJordy Guest

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    Don't take it so personally. If nothing else, you developed a connection with her. Who knows why she didn't follow through with the encounter?? It could be a multitude of reasons. She could have been tired or been holding something heavy on her heart preventing her from putting forth an effort.

    Just keep her in mind. Next time she may be more in the mood.

    (Hopefully it doesn't end your relationship. This issue should be an easy fix with communication.)
     
    #2 JiminyJordy, Feb 13, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2016
  3. lavender23

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    Thank you for your advice! I will have to keep that in mind, and more communication was definitely needed. From my perspective I definitely viewed it as unfair because I'm always more then willing to please but I guess there was just something specific about this encounter that was disconcerting.
     
  4. JiminyJordy

    JiminyJordy Guest

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    No prob.

    There are 5 billion ways a relationship can have success. You mentioned you're a pleaser (great quality for you to possess btw!), and while she may not be quite on the same level as you in that regard, there are ways to balance it out. I know it can a little disappointing if she doesn't meet your expectations with intimacy, but there will certainly be moments when she will surprise you.

    However, if lack of sex or intimacy is a deal breaker for you, then you'll need to carefully consider the different aspects of your companionship, and decide whether or not it's time to move on.