I am questioning my sexuality I had a boyfriend of 3 years. I broke up with him because I didn't find him attractive and I didn't enjoy the sex. I find guys attractive but I don't seem to find guys sexually attractive. I recently cuddled with this guy that I think is attractive and when he was feeling me up I didn't get turned on at all. I have recently found myself checking out a lot of girls lately. My mom has always thought I was a lesbian and some of my friends think I am. I have been really stressed about this because I can't see myself with a female. I have tried watch straight and lesbian porn. I don't like to watch straight porn and I seem to get off easily to lesbian porn. Any advice is appreciated!
Honestly, all the different things people identify as confuse me a bit. Am I bi or pan? What are the subtle differences? Do I favor women so much that I should say I am a lesbian? I just decided to say I have a third derivative, which is a math geek way of saying I am not straight. Are you stressed that you don't have a label? Is it because you need one, or you want to accommodate other people by letting them know what box you fit into? If you come across words or phrases that resonate, collect them. Take your time to find words to own. The words don't define you, they are your tools for expressing yourself. Danny Amendola is one of the men who keeps me from identifying as lesbian, btw. Go Pats!
Labels are only there to help describe you or at least help you find who you are. Don't worry about being straight, pan or bi or anything. Do what you want to do in your dating life. Maybe you just haven't found the right person. Also don't worry if you like certain porn and others. Porn is not realistic anyways. It wouldn't be the same in real life. Also any sexuality can like any type of porn. So don't stress about it. Just follow your heart.
Porn means nothing! Straight guys can watch gay porn and be aroused. Don't stress about it. If you don't see yourself dating a female but you wouldn't mind being with one then you may be heteroromantic bisexual. Or if you didn't like the sex with your now ex boyfriend maybe he wasn't good enough or maybe you're asexual? Idk? You know what? Just stop using labels it will probably make your life a lot easier!
The journey of discovering who you're into is a long one. I don't really think it ever ends! Something I wanted to point out is that it seems like you are feeling pretty stressed in general lately - and when you are stressed it can be hard to feel much of anything for anyone. So that might be contributing to your confusion. Like others have said, you do not need a label unless you feel that would put you more at ease or help you out when people ask you etc. But even then, you don't owe anyone an explanation! Porn is also a poor judge. Many people like many things in porn they wouldn't actually want in their "real life". So don't worry too much about that.
Hi, i'm a new member here and I have to say that I totally undertand how you feel. I've been myself questionning for three years about my sexuality, and to be honest, sometimes I feel like I still don't know. I changed labels a lot: straight, bi, gay, asexual... Until I realised I didn't ultimately need them. But in your case: are you convinced you're not sexually attracted to guys? You've spoken about only one experience with a particular guy. Maybe you didn't like him and that's it. It doesn't mean you dislike men in general, or sex with them. Look inside of you and see how you've always felt towards men. As for women, there's one thing others said that's totally true: porn does not define someone's sexual orientation. Furthermore, if you think you might be sexually attracted to girls, but can't see them as a possible partner, you're probably not a lesbian then. And it's also normal that you might experience some same sex attraction (i dont know your age though), everyone does at a moment, but it could also just be a phase you're going through. Anyways, enjoy life, don't think about it too much, experiment, you've got a long way to go! :icon_wink
