My Friends Won't Talk to Me and I Don't Know Why

My friends are super mad at me and they won't tell me why. I don't even go to the same school as them anymore and they stopped replying to me when I text them so I have no means of communication with them now. I have been going to my new school for about a month or so and I've already completely destroyed my social life, so I can't make new friends. I find this to be problematic because my old friends treat me like complete garbage, but I just let them because I'm an idiot. I just need some sort of friends, and I am too shy and awkward to make any new ones. They just won't communicate with me yet they seem to be completely fine with being super good friends with someone who literally made me try to kill myself. They are super mean to me all the time and they really aren't good friends at all, but at the same time I don't have any sort of a social life without them and we've been friends for so long that I can't help but feel really emotionally attached to them. I know I shouldn't be friends with people who treat me so poorly, but if I don't than I don't know what to do.

 

Hi, thank you for your advice. I unfortunately switched districts while I was very sad about everything. Because of this the first month or so revolved mainly around me throwing a non stop hissy fit that probably turned most people away from the idea of wanting to be my friend. I have people who are nice to me, but they kind of treat me like a baby and don't really show much interest in actually befriending me on any deeper level. I don't talk much and I'm a bit too shy to involve myself in any after school activities, although I may have to force myself to do that if I can't figure anything else out. I really don't have much of any social skills, so most of my ability to meet people relies on a third party intervening and introducing me to someone. I guess I could see if my mom could set me up with something, that way I wouldn't have to initiate too much on my own. My therapist tells me that I'm too reliant on my mom and that it's part of the reason for my constant anxiety, but I just feel more comfortable doing things this way. I'm sad about my old friends and if I'm being entirely honest I ope they'll take me back into their group, but I know they don't treat me right. I'm much too attached to break off my friendship with them, so maybe it's for the best that they do it on their own. I always get this naive sense that they do care about me and just don't know how to go about treating me, but it's not the case. They are well aware of how emotionally fragile and sensitive I am, yet they pay no mind to the fact that I just literally tried to kill myself and act like I'm being a drama queen for getting upset over being physically and sexually assaulted constantly for months on end. I'm not too stupid to realize it's a toxic relationship, but I am too stupid to do anything about it. Regardless, I appreciate your advice and might try to get involved in some sort of group activity as you suggested. Thanks

 

One of my friends just texted me. They're open to 'forgive' me, but only if I apologize for the second time on their behalf to someone who made me try to kill myself. I still don't know what I did wrong or why I'm apologizing, but I don't even care anymore. I know I shouldn't apologize, but I don't have much self respect left at this point so I might. I don't even know anymore.