For a long time my parents haven't been very nice to me... My dad was more mean when I was younger. And my mom has been worse ever since he seemed to 'calm down.' So here are the things that happen... 1. She blames me for her issues 2. I'm always the blame-go-to 3. She gives me lectures on what is wrong with me 4. She punishes me for stupid things 5. I can't trust her with anything without her telling basically everyone else in the family 6. She acts different when we're around different people (in public) 7. She disrespects me 8. She always says no 9. She doesn't listen to me 10. She doesn't believe me 11. They don't respect my pronouns 12. They don't apologize if they're wrong or if they hurt me 13. He calls me 'not smart' and a 'failure' How I feel about this: :bang::tantrum::icon_sad::dry::help::***: Oh yeah I think there's one more thing that my mom does but I can't think of it at the moment...
Well, it sounds pretty belittling... But says more about their own insecurities than it says about you tbh
Well, that may seem so. But ultimately, we cannot control others' actions or our circumstances. All we can control is how we react - what we choose to do despite those things. If you are having difficulties with your parents, yes, it can be hard. But refuse to let it get to you. Take their cruelty and use it as fuel. Dad says you're stupid? Prove him wrong. Mom blames you for everything? Do not be burdened by it. What they feel is up to them and not your responsibility. You work on you. Taking a beating can make you a stronger person, I know this from experience. I must remind myself not to "play the victim" of other people's actions or rough circumstances - because if I do that, I'm only belittling myself and not owning up to the challenge to rise above it. So that's what I'd challenge you to do: Rise above it. As a side thought, try to be there and be kind to your parents. I'm not justifying their mistreatment, but keep in mind that they are probably struggling too. Take how you wish they'd treat you (with kindness, respect, admiration) and find something, even something little, from that to give to them. In that way you step forward and be the better, stronger person. Teach them how to act by example even if it 'should' be the other way round. Who knows? They might learn something.
Maybe confront them about your feelings? Preferably in an environment where they are most comfortable. And if the pronouns are a touchy subject for them, try to *slowly* correct them on it. (I know it can be hard :dry: ) Good luck!
Yes, what you described is indeed emotional abuse. I cannot really say what would be helpful. You could try confronting them about this. If it doesn't work the best policy is really to stop interacting with them and move away. If this is not possible then just try the tips people posted above.
