Hi all, I unfortunately have PTSD from some past trauma. If you read my other thread, you might see my confusion on which gender is appropriate for me. Unfortunately, I've received negative messages from others on how men don't want to marry a female abuse survivor. On a different forum (loveshack.org), I had made a topic just asking if white men are okay dating outside of their race. Two of my white friends told me that white men don't like brown-skinned minority women, so I wanted to see if that's true. When I revealed that I was bisexual on this forum, a bunch of older white men accused me of being a cheater and how most men don't want a bisexual woman....as if we are untouchable. I felt hurt, so I wrongfully lashed out at them and spoke my mind. It hurt to be accused of being a cheater, when I've never done it before. I also don't think it's nice to tell a young woman that most men don't want her. I can't imagine saying that to someone. Three older men in their 40's and 50's with daughters said that it's okay to assume that bisexuality means cheating. So, one another girl joined in and said, "you must be single, because you're crazy. It's not because your bisexual or brown." Four other men joined her liking her post. These men were adult fathers with daughters. It's so strange to me. I later felt embarrassed for lashing out and apologized, only to look like the better and classy person. But, their behavior hurt. It's making me conscious if I'm too crazy for a man. Any words of advice or encouragement? We're they right to do what they did? The mods at loveshack don't seem to care. Loveshack.org seems to be filled with unhappy and preachy heterosexuals. Is it right for heterosexuals to say those things to bisexuals?
Hmm. Well, let's see here... I'm not sure what kind of abuse you mean here (nor do I really need to know), but my little sister was molested by my dad. She went through a number of years with a number of problems. But she eventually started getting her life together and, along the way, met my brother-in-law. They have two small children and becoming a wife and mother has done a lot (IMHO) to help her to become more stable, responsible, and just overall in a better place in her life. So, so much for the theory that men don't want to marry a female abuse survivor. I live in Virginia. Interracial couples are pretty common here, and while I don't know if it's an even 50-50 split, I've certainly seen plenty of couples in which the woman is brown-skinned. I'd suggest that those people were ignorant twits and that you need not pay any attention to them at all. They were certainly not right to do what they did nor is it right for heterosexuals to say those things to bisexuals. Being a heterosexual doesn't give you any rights at all, as far as I'm concerned. Todd
Sounds like me actually. I'm doing much better in my life and know how to seek help. I do know that I'm much more stable when I around positive people that are supportive. Negative people that make digs are triggering. I remember feeling okay on that forum, until that man made a rude comment. What sucks is that other posters didn't realize that his comment was rude. They were like, "it's a different opinion and he's not out of line." These men then said that a bisexual woman can never be satisfied with a man, because they don't have the right equipment. Man, as I write that-it sounds silly. If you were a secure man, you would know that your lady wants you only. I see inter-racial couples, and I've had a few white men compliment my skin tone. It was had that my two white friends were planting seeds in me. I do have evidence that they're wrong. Definitely. It's interesting to compare them to open-minded and worldly people. Most people in real life that I meet luckily don't talk like this, and I stay kind and courteous. Whats funny is that the girl that called me crazy later revealed in her other threads that she purposely says mean things to test people.
It's completely wrong for heterosexuals to say those things to bisexuals. Unfortuantely, most online communities don't care much about personal attacks and judgmental statements; some even encourage them as it can boost page views. Honestly, I'd suggest looking around to see if you can find a better moderated community to talk about those issues.
Often people will say things online that they wouldn't think of saying (or only think of saying without ever saying it) face-to-face. The anonymity of the internet is a two-edged sword. Re the girl you mention - Oh, she's one of those. I help run an online community that has a very active moderation function and we sometimes get/used to get new people who would join, say various provocative things, and then claim they were just 'testing' the community when they got called out on it. This was/is pretty much taken with a grain of salt by the moderators and that sort usually didn't last very long - getting banned as often as not. They're a common form of internet 'lifeform' and turn up on online communities all over. Stirring the pot seems to make them feel good for some reason. Ignoring them (and taking whatever they say with a cargo ship full of salt) is almost always the best approach. Anyway, you'll probably find a lot more support and positive conversation on this stuff on EC than anywhere else. Pull up a chair and stay awhile :smilewave Todd
I do like the vibes I get here. I am very thankful for my gay and bisexual friends. They are so kind and caring.
