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Been thinking a lot of having an Open Relationship. But I don't know. ugh! HELP!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by albert8512, Mar 2, 2016.

  1. albert8512

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    Hello everybody,

    So I have been with my boyfriend like almost 2 years. Everything is working good and all, we rarely have fights, and we enjoy going out to movies, sex, concerts planning a 2 week vacation in Mexico beaches (Puerto Vallarta, Mexico = AKA The Mexican San Francisco), etc etc all you can think of.

    I'm 24 years old and he's 37. I'm moving with him this summer from my parents house since my parents will go back to live in Mexico.

    I met him through ******. Yes we had sex, it was supposed to be a hookup, but we got way too close to even sleep (yes actual sleeping after sex) next each other, then went to eat dinner, and spending all day long together and met for more sexual activities. We ended up falling in love.

    Now lately I've been fantasizing a lot just imagining myself having sex with other men and stuff like for example; checking on Craigslist M4M stuff and masturbate a lot with those pictures and also porn. I sometimes felt like hooking up with guys, but I just can't do it because I'm so in love with my boyfriend that I know that I would feel like crap if I ever try to do it, and how much I would hurt him. (He had a 7 year relationship with his ex and he cheated on him multiple times).

    I feel like I should talk about it with him, but I'm so afraid to do it because I'm scared it could damage the relationship somehow. Not to mention that I'm a very jealous type of guy, and this another thing that I don't how I would deal with. I get jealous really easily, I just can't stand the fact of loosing him, it just makes me feel like crying.

    Another thing that also scares me is the fact that if we do that one of use starts developing feelings with the other sexual partners.

    Now here's a big one: He's HIV+ (I'm Negative). He's been undetectable for like a year taking his antiretroviral medicine every day. I don't know if he would ever feel like hooking up again with other guys after you know being diagnosed with this disease. (It was really a tough time for us last year when we were told he was Positive) He said he learned his lesson because he was having a lot of sex without protection; therefore, I feel like maybe this could make him say no.

    I really feel sometimes like having sex with other guys, but no at the same time because of all I have said before. It's like I really don't know, so please guys I would like to get your advice. I don't know if I'm letting my sexual fantasies take over me or something. Sometimes after masturbating I forget these feelings.
     
  2. OnTheHighway

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    I just posted this as a response in another thread on a similar topic:


    I realize this may not directly relate to what your going through, but there are some similarities. In terms of your specific question, if you and he have an honest discussion about having an open relationship, and you both agree to very clear ground rules, I do believe it can help you get through such an exploratory phase. However, I do caution, if your actually doing it because your interested in seeing what else is out there due to doubts about your existing relationship, then that might be a recipe for disaster.

    You may want to download the most recent edition of FS Magazine from the UK based GMFA (a UK based gay man's health charity). The most recent edition actually addresses this exact topic. https://www.gmfa.org.uk/fsmag
     
    #2 OnTheHighway, Mar 3, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2016