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Mirrors show me a different face every time I look into them

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by gibson234, Mar 6, 2016.

  1. gibson234

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    When I was in school people would occasionally say that I was handsome and that the girls thought so. However, I find this too hard to believe and later on people stopped saying this. So either I'm handsome or I'm ugly and they were taking the piss. I don't know.

    Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see someone who is reasonably handsome and sometimes I see someone who is ugly. I don't want to be ugly. But sometimes thats all I can see in the mirror. But other times I like what I see and I feel good. I'm very confused. This is one of the scars left behind by the painful experience of high school.

    In the past people on this site have either said I'm average or I'm good looking. But I don't know if they mean it or if they are just trying to be nice.

    Does anyone else experience this and does anyone have any advice?
     
  2. Connorcode

    Connorcode Guest

    All the time! Honestly, I'm working hard at the moment to try and see the handsome guy in the mirror more often! (By exercising and eating better, I mean)

    I understand. Family members tell me I'm good looking and I once had a girl tell me she fancied me - only 1 mind you. I have no idea who they're seeing but it's not the same guy I normally see in the mirror.

    Sometimes our feelings can affect how we perceive ourselves: do something wrong and you might see yourself as ugly - it's how you're feeling. If you're feeling confident, the man in the mirror is more attractive, even if there's no real difference in your appearance.

    Feel better in yourself and people will see you better - you'll see yourself as better!
     
  3. Aberrance

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    In my opinion you're attractive (and I mean that). Who cares about what some randomer on the internet says though? You have to try to stop caring about what other people say and learn to love you for who you are.

    I experience the same feelings though. Having been bullied all through school I had comments thrown at me like "oh you're so attractive" but in a mean, sarcastic way as well as the generic "you're ugly" kind of comments so the idea that I was disgusting always been completely cemented into my brain. It's difficult to rid that kind of mindset and it takes time and effort but it's worth it to be happy with yourself.

    Try to look in the mirror every day (maybe when you're getting ready in the morning) and compliment yourself about something. Might be something really menial or you might not even completely see it. Just say something nice to yourself every day and eventually those will be the thoughts that you remember and think about when you see yourself in a mirror. It doesn't matter if you don't really mean them at the beginning because you will after a while.
     
  4. Klutz

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    I was a very round shape when I was younger. I was the girl that was in the middle of a prank on a popular boy I fancied. "Oh, we told Klutz you like her. Then we pretended to be you and called her! Then we said vulgar things to her. You are in so much trouble man!". I was the girl who got stood up for prom.

    My mom said that I'm the ugly duckling. People have called me beautiful, even when they didn't want anything from me.

    What I try to do is see me as a person when I look in the mirror. I don't want to be objective, which is a nicer word for critical. I look to see if I seem like someone I would try to be friends with. I think only happy people are truly beautiful. So, I try to look at myself in the mirror when I am happy. I can accept that I'm pretty when I'm happy.