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Need some help with a guy who's constantly staring at me

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Yellowx, Mar 7, 2016.

  1. Yellowx

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    So I'm doing korball (It's not a very popular sport but it's similar to basketball but with 4 boys and 4 girls instead of a whole team of boys/girls) and there is one cute guy I have an enormous crush on. He's 1 year older than me, so unfortunately he is in another team... The good thing is, my older brother is in his team, so I end up seeing him at least 2 times a week. At first, I didn't get my hopes up 'cause I knew he was the 'player' type and had many girlfriends before, he's always around other girls and there was even a scenario of 2 girls fighting for him :/

    So I was sadly living my life until we celebrated New Year together with both of our teams, because the week after the party I noticed he was constantly looking in my direction. Maybe he was looking at the person next to me? I wasn't sure so I kept an eye on him for the following weeks. He kept looking in my direction and we even made eye contact many times, but I was always the first one to look away though... :icon_redf

    A few weeks later some of my friends told me he was acting weird when they were talking about the 'gay' topic, one of them even said that it wouldn't surprise her if he was gay and didn't want to ruin his reputation. After that I came out to my sister and told her everything about my crush, and then she also noticed that he was staring in my direction all the time. Don't get me wrong, I really like having his attention :icon_wink

    Now I really want to confess my love to him, but I'm too scared for being rejected and laughed out, so I started to make a tiny, cute bottle charm and a letter. I attached the bottle to a golden necklace that I got from my grandma when I was very young and I put everything in a red jewelery box. 2 days ago, when everyone was watching their match, I booked it to the dressing room and put the box inside his bag. (That cost me a lot of courage, the adrenalin was pumping through my veins.) I didn't wrote my name on the letter 'cause I was too shy, but I hope I will be on his suspect list. He also saw me leaving the bleachers, so maybe if he's not that stupid, he'll suspect me :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I don't know what to do now... I really love him but the only thing I get from him is an expressionless stare about every 2 minutes. I also noticed he looked at me more when I'm around girls. Of course I already googled it and tried to find what those stares mean and many times people said that that person might find you attractive. But I can't imagine a cool, popular guy who had many girlfriends and can get almost everyone, falling for a younger normal guy like me... I just wanna know what to do now and what those stares really mean, if he's just staring at me because he thinks I'm weird or something he should have stopped already by now I guess. But it's going on for months and it's driving me crazy. I hope I can get some advise and thank you for reading this and forgive me for my English, I know it's not the best :3
     
  2. Elli

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    Hi!
    Well, stares like that could mean a lot, especially if it's just for the first few weeks that you know each other - but if it's been going on for months, I feel like it's not unlikely he might have a thing for you.
    Have you ever had like a longer conversation with him? Do you text with him? Do you know him any closer? Maybe you might try to get to know him a little bit and see how he acts around you and how he responses to slight signals etc, like if you smile at him, does he smile back?
    And have you gotten any kind of "response" ever since you put that love charm into his locker?
     
  3. Yellowx

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    Heey Elli, thank you for replying :grin:
    We only had like 3-4 little conversations so far 'cause mostly we're not even able to talk to each other, on Wednesday we're training in the same sports hall but in seperate groups, that's the place where he looks at me the most. My training also ends way earlier than his, so when he's done I'm already gone... I once sent him a facebook message about one of the conversations we had, but he answered really short and ended with a smiley tongue emoji, I then also replied with an emoji and after that, our chat stopped... I also don't know him that close, I don't know any of his likes and dislikes :/
    Previous week I stared back at him for the first time, it was like 3 seconds or so but it felt like 30, I didn't smile 'cause I was freaking out from the inside 'cause it was the first time I didn't instantly look away, but he wasn't smiling either, just a blank stare, and then I looked away again :/

    This Wednesday I'm going to see him again (as I mentioned earlier) and hopefully I will get any kind of response, maybe a smile or something...
     
  4. andimon

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    I also get awkward stares from people that know/suspect my sexuality. But I'm aware they're just watching my behaviour or something alike as if I were a museum exhibit or the freak show. I'm not trying to cut your wings short, but this also might be the case.

    I personally also draw quite some attention as I'm a lively smiling positive person, which is unusual for my gender (yeah).

    Whatsoever I don't know how things go around in Belgium, how socially acceptable being gay is, so I can't give you a certain answer. Where I come from, it would be THE most awkward and socially condemnable mistake confessing your feelings to a person that doesn't share your out-of-the-book sexuality.
     
  5. JedenPolska

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    How did it go? Also, you're only 14, which means he's only 15, and tbh relationships at that age are almost completely worthless and for popularity. Hell, I'm 17, and most relationship with juniors and seniors are still to an extent that way. So, I really don't think you should assume because of his popularity, and possible ex girlfriends that he's straight. When I was your age, I did the same sorta thing, Facebook messaging cute guys from school who I hardly knew, playing it off as being friendly. Straight guys are super aware of that and may likely assume you're into them, especially if you're effeminate. So why not just tell him how you feel face to face? If necessary, frame it in a way he'd be better off reacting to. Don't say you LOVE him. Keep it within 2 or 3 sentences. Just something like, 'Hey, I hope we can still be friends, but just wanted to tell you you're really cute. Can I take you on a date?'
     
  6. Yellowx

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    It went great! I didn't get any kind of response though, that's probably because he doesn't know it was me who put the bottle in his bag but he was staring at me as usual. When I was about to leave there was an awkward moment we were staring at each other through the window, then he did a few tricks with the ball he was holding and was looking at me like he wanted my approval. Those things really make me confused 'cause it's going on for months by now. I never gave him a sign or something (except the bottle) that I'm into him and I'm totally not effeminate, by now only my sister knows I'm gay and she really didn't expect it, so I guess other people think the same.