The thing that confuses me the most is other people's opinions. A long time friend which is a girl tells me that I am in touch with my feminine side and she only sees me as a friend. I've had gay people tell me I look straight. My family says I look without a doubt straight. The other day I walked past two guys and one yelled out a homophobic insult as I passed him. I wonder if he was directing it at me. Sometimes I think like, if I have it all wrong, how scary would that be? Not knowing how or who you are? Thinking and feeling masculine but on the outside exuding femininity. So how do I find out who I am? What worked for you? I know this is an extremely general question and I apologize for that
Well, first of all, gender has nothing to do with sexual orientation and things like "you look straight" or "you look feminine" are only based on stereotypes. Therefore, the fact that you look a certain way doesn't mean at all that you are necessarily straight or not straight. Secondly, you have to figure out things for yourself and not because someone made you wonder. Yes, it is kind of scary not knowing but it's nothing that is not solvable. Don't freak out, if you are questioning your orientation you won't figure things out by forcing them and yourself. Explore it, reflect on it and, if you have to, experience it. But DON'T freak out! Take it easy or you'll end up frustrated and even more confused. I wish you the best! If you want to ask me anything else, feel free to post on my wall! ^^
So right. Do you understand, ScaredBoy, that there may be a very masculine guy that is gay and also a very feminine guy that is straight? Also a trans male to female that may be interested only in female, or both... or even none! Actually, looks, voice, clothes, they mean nothing about sexual orientation. I always say here that you should not worry about labels, but about what you just like. Do you imagine dating a girl or a guy? For which reason? (Cannot be "to be accepted by society"). Prefer men's body or women's body, or both, or none? Is it something more than friendship, the idea of a relationship feels so awkward? (Be careful about this one, because once we (at least myself) often feel ashamed about our sexual orientation, it may seems that a same-sex relationship would look wrong). Does he/she turns you on. Well, that's what I assume to "classify" myself as gay. You may find a good way to understand you too, and I agree with AnimeFreak4, don't freak out. If you having too much trouble figuring out who you really are, don't worry about the labels, just enjoy according to the moment. Stay cool.
Sometimes it's hard to really know how others perceive you. What complicates it more is that every single person you meet will probably get a different impression of you, as you've said. So there's no point in trying to play to a certain "type" or try to monitor the way you are, because that'll do nothing, and also you'll get the same result: everyone will have different opinions and takes, and so will you. But hiding parts of yourself, trying to be who you're not, that will only hurt you and make you feel isolated. What matters most is that you have the opinions you have, you have your own quirks, your own demeanor, way of doing things, way of expressing your style, way of being. You are you and trying to filter that won't change the fact that interpretation is up to everyone else and that's going to vary. You are you so just keep doing that. If someone wants to make an assumption about you, screw them. That means nothing, really. Some people like oranges, some people don't like oranges. That doesn't mean that oranges are only bad, and it doesn't mean that they're only good. Different people just think differently of oranges based on their own preferences. That doesn't change the fact that oranges are still just oranges. So just do you, and explore the you that YOU know
