1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Life. (hell?)

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by alextiago, Mar 10, 2016.

  1. alextiago

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2016
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Well, I need to write something anywhere so .. here it goes. For almost my entire life I have been hiding myself of the world. I grew up in a religious (catholic) traditional family, going (still going..) to the mass every sunday..well a typical catholic family. I've never liked girls .. I liked one girl once just because that was cool in 4th grade...after that I've never had desires (donno the right term for this) for girls. So, yes I was (I am) gay. Through the years I've lied to myself denying I was gay ofc. That wasnt right (I thought) so I become a really fanatic person about religion! Like a lot. I spend my days watching religious stuff about saints, the end of the world..bla bla bla. I fullfiled my head of ideas and well I even thought I should be a priest!!! In the meantime I watched gay porn (perfect sense) and ofc I blamed myself of my "sins". All I thought was if someone of my family (2 brothers and parents) caught me once watching porn and well find my secret (this happens today too..). Anyway, this is my background. Today Im in college (nursing) and this year I thought I should finally accepted myself. So last month I came out to a friend (2 now ^^). I was (I am) terrified about someone knowing this but..well soon or later "everybody" will know. To add I have a really low self-esteem I think Im not beautiful at all and I never trust in me for almost anything...What I think today is I my "die" alone ... its strange 'cause I always said to my mother I would never married..but deep in me I know that nobody truly will love me or like me.

    and well, sorry about all this, but I really need to efiuwfwjkfwefneasdad a bit xD

    P.S: Sorry about the bad grammar/ writing english is just my second language so xD
     
  2. Linus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2015
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Chicago Area
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    Other
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    *hugs*

    I don't know you well enough to love you, but I think that you'll find someone. Looks don't really matter when it comes to love. Here, have another one. *hugs again* :slight_smile:
     
  3. alextiago

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2016
    Messages:
    54
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Neverland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    thank you ^^ :slight_smile: