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my father just nearly beat me... again.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MayaBee, Mar 11, 2016.

  1. MayaBee

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    If anyone remembers, I told you about how my father and I had a pretty bad fight a week ago and that he got really close and threatened to beat me and that if my mother wasnt there, he wouldve done it.

    Well. Today it happened again, but I was alone with my father. We were walking to the train as he got really angry at me because I walked like 2 steps ahead of him while talking, which was basically because he walked really slow and I wanted to get the train. We fought just a little bit as I continued to walk faster since he had stopped me to talk. About two minutes later he kinda ran to me and got really angry, said I had insulted him and that I would lately act soo different when I am with my mom wand when with him. It kind of escalated and I walked away when he grabbed my arm and started pulling me and I told him to let go but he didnt. He also started shoving me and then grabbed me again, we got really loud and I started crying.
    He also threatened that if I wouldnt come home at an exact time tonight, worse would happen.

    What scared me the most is that while we were fighting and he was grabbing my arm really harsh, more than 40 people walked by and completely ignored this. Even when I screamed that he should let me go but he didnt.

    I really dont know what to do, please help, I am starting to get terrified.
    Also U am sorry for any typos but I am really
     
  2. Distant Echo

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    This is out of control. He's done this in public with no repercussions. You are in real danger. Who, apart from your mother, can you speak to? A trusted adult.? A teacher, school counsellor, friends parent? If not, you need to tell the police. There needs to be a trail, and he needs to be scared out of doing this.
    As for the people walking past? Cowards the lot of them.
     
  3. MayaBee

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    Not really. Well, i have teachers and I know other people's parents, but I dont fell like I can talk to them. I dont know...
     
  4. Michael

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    I'm not surprised nobody interfered. I don't approve it, not a bit, but I'm not surprised. It's the coldness, and the 'don't interfere in anyone's private life'.

    Your father has troubles, not you. Try to not let him show when he is hurting you, and never question his authority or react emotionally. Don't let it show. Say 'You are hurting me, dad' or 'Please, dad, stop it'. Remember to call him 'dad' or 'vater'.

    You should definitely talk about it, his behavior was disgusting. He is an older adult, male, and your father, and he must have been very aware you were scared. Please, think about the teacher who you think will listen to you, and let this be known.

    And keep safe, will you? If he hits you, or does it again, get help through a hotline. There is BiG in germany, not sure about Switzerland. They attend women of all ages in all kinds of situations, and they'll listen to you and try to help you. I know some of the social workers, and they do an excellent job, really devoted folks who know their stuff.

    Is he often like this with more people, like your mom?
     
    #4 Michael, Mar 11, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 11, 2016
  5. looking for me

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    you need to get somewhere safe, as in away from your father. last time it was yelling and "almost" physical contact, this time grabbing, pulling/pushing etc and in public. what's next. i dont know what is available in switzerland but i do know there is an office of child protection somewhere. talk to a counselor at school or check online for child services numbers, these people should be able to get u safe, because i dont feel you are safe where you are now.
     
  6. Zen fix

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    I'm very sorry to hear this. Your father has a huge problem that has nothing to do with you but he's making you (and maybe your mother?) the recipient of his anger. He is sick and most likely unable to control himself. Unless there is some drastic change in him he will continue to be abusive. Your mother needs to know exactly what is going on and take immediate action to protect you both. If she isn't able to do this then you need to reach out to the appropriate authorities.
     
  7. BigBagOfBlank

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    So sorry this is happening to you. Why do you feel like you can't talk to your friend's parents, or a teacher? If you needed to you could stay at a friend's house if need be or at least they can keep a close eye on you. They would be more than happy to help you out if they ask for it.

    Stay safe.
     
  8. Amal

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    I am sorry this is happening to you. I can relate because I am in the same situation. A few days ago I finally couldn't take it anymore and I asked for help, and received help. I know it is scary, for me it was also a feeling of shame that kept me from asking help. I hope you can find the courage to reach out to someone you trust, and ask for support
     
  9. LizSibling13

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    Call the police...
     
  10. MayaBee

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    Thank you all for being so caring, really. I want to give you a few more informations and a quick update.
    First of all, he has never beaten anyone, neither my siblings nor my mom.
    Secondly, he is quitting smoking right now, so that is something that can make people more aggressive (somebody told me)

    Now, about the situation right now.
    My father came into my room yesterday evening and started apologizing, not about the physical contact, but about fighting in general, but with also "blaming" me, blaming is probably not the right word, but he just said that we both should change some things. I said it's okay.
    Since he has been really nice and caring and I could really see that he meant his apologize, so I guess I can say everything's fine now.