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How do I stop thinking I'm going to end up alone forever?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RahRahLM, Mar 14, 2016.

  1. RahRahLM

    Regular Member

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    This is my biggest worry. No scratch that. It's more than a worry. It's a definite fear that the majority of the time I just cannot deal with. That thought has literally reduced me to tears multiple times because I can see it happening. My two best friends have someone (met them when they were relatively young) but I'm 26 and it still hasn't happened.

    "People tell me to stop looking for love but what I don't understand is why it doesn't stop you" - this quote is basically me. People can tell me to stop looking, stop wanting it so bad and it will eventually find you. But I don't see how that possible. I just feel like I've missed out on it all and everything that goes with it.

    :icon_sad:

    I just don't know what to do. I'm not into the gay scene and LGBT social groups are pretty much non existent. My hobbies are pretty much solidarity ones (TV shows/films/video games). I occasionally write but it's not something I'm really into anymore. I go to work and back and sometimes do stuff with friends, maybe once a month.

    I just can't see how letting things be will help. Nothing has changed since I was 21. I'm still single. Thou I have two best friends and my confidence has improved... I'm still single and its just not fair. That may sound childish but it's how I feel about it all.

    :help:

    I'm just scared and petrified.

    I don't want a fairytale but I just want that someone to like me for me. I'm not good looking and with my depressive episodes, I'm just a complete mess of a person that no one is gonna want to be with.

    Then there's the whole gay side of things which makes things doubly hard than it would if I were straight. At least if I were straight I wouldn't have this thing were you don't know if someone is gay or not.

    :help:
     
  2. MsAnchor

    Regular Member

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    RahRahLM I think the main problem is that you don't like yourself that much and that might be affecting your stagnant relationship status, how you relate to yourself and your relationship with yourself has a a lot to do with what kind of people you have around you.
    Why do you think you re a mess? Why would you want to refer to yourself in this way?
    I think you need to take a long look at your life and find what makes you happy and do a lot of it, give yourself the self love and self worth you deserve first before you meet anyone. You wouldn't want to put that control in someone else's hands
    We all want love in our lives but don't dive into it if you re not done building your self esteem and confidence before that
    allt he best :kiss:
     
  3. RahRahLM

    Regular Member

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    Because I am.

    I just haven't got the strength to play the waiting game. Basically I can't see it happening st all and when picture what that's gonna be like... It saddens me :icon_sad:

    No guy is gonna want me as a boyfriend. I'm a mess. I have anxiety and some form of depression. Yeah I lack any self belief or faith cuz I just look in the mirror and go "ugh why do you bother, your personality is a mess and your ugly" no guy is gonna wanna date me, kiss me, be intimate, have me as a boyfriend, any of it.
     
  4. Ram90

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    I'm 25 and a virgin who has never dated (men nor women), never kissed anyone or gone to a school dance with anyone. It makes me sad sometimes when I see my friends getting married or posting pics with their significant others on Social Media. But it is what it is. I've come to terms with it.

    I have low self-esteem because of my physical stature and find myself unattractive. I know I have to work on my looks and figure and I am working on it. I know I have to change the way I think sometimes, because my emotional state doesn't help either. But I know sometime in the near future I will find get into the dating game and eventually find someone special. I being positive waiting for that. :grin: