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How do I move away from my best friend?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by kevnes, Mar 15, 2016.

  1. kevnes

    kevnes Guest

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    Location:
    Utah
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Hello,

    Writing this with a very very sad heart, wanted to share things in my life with you guys. I am a successful guy with a good degree and a good job. I'm not that good-looking and faced a lot of rejections in the past with girls.

    Moved away from family and friends after breaking up with my ex girl friend whom I loved for two years to a new state for a new job / exciting opportunity / forget her. It has been three years since then and now I realize how much better my life could have been hadn't I taken the decision then.

    Six months after i relocated, I met this one guy who is a very nice guy with a good heart. Very well behaved and innocent. He had some issues with his girl friend who was indecisive and I helped him come out of that relationship and supported him morally. We became real good friends and still we hang out a lot.

    We have connected emotionally and we literally hangout everyday for about four to five hours outside work. One night during a sleepover, things got out of control and we did it. It wasn't intentional and he proposed it first. I initially rejected but since it was a long time that I got out of my previous relationship, I surrendered. We were a little uncomfortable after that but did it a couple of times after that.

    Everything was looking great. No one knows about it and we are very happy with life. Neither of us wanted to settle down like this. I want to find a girl and eventually get married and have kids. He wants to do the same as well. Now, I helped him find a nice girl and they went on a couple of dates. I think this will work for him and I am really happy for him that he is going to settle down in life.

    Though I feel so happy for him, I feel so lonely all of a sudden because I am so much used to hanging out with him all the time and doing everything with him. From brushing teeth to doing laundry. Now I feel that I am left out and I am feeling extremely sad. I am very happy for him but at the same time I don't want to get close to him anymore because he is with someone now. And I don't want to cause a tension or any kind of rift in his life. He is one hell of a great bud to me and I am ready to sacrifice anything in my life for his happiness.

    We had an emotional breakdown last night both of us and we want to be friends and still hangout all the time. But I am not sure how that works. I think I am so attached to him and he will always have a part of me with him. At the same time I want him to get married, have kids and settle down in life. How do I deal with this?

    If I look for another job and move out, he will be heartbroken. I am his best friend and I am the only one who is very close to him and i don't want to leave him and move away. Him and I both would be devastated without talking to each other. I still want to be friends with him but at the same time I don't want to have feelings for him.

    I am looking for your advice. Please give me your inputs.Thank you.
     
  2. CSMM

    Regular Member

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    Dear Kevnes, I am sorry for your situation given that I am stuck in a similar one. There is no real advice I can give but what seems to work for me is: Out of sight - Out of mind. And I work with my ex-girlfriend in the same office building and in the same room. I cut off all the hanging out after work and on weekends, started meeting old friends and making new ones....
    Best wishes, CSMM