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Unhappy

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by 1Tiny0wl, Mar 19, 2016.

  1. 1Tiny0wl

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So I have recently accepted that I am a lesbian. I think I've known this most of my life but have kinda tried to ignore it. Long story short, I am married to a man and have kids. When we married I was young and at the time I thought I was bisexual. As the years have gone by, I've come to terms that I am a lesbian. I do not (and have never liked) being intimate with a man. There are other things that have happened over the last few years that have made me question my orientation. I have spoken to my husband in regards to how I feel and he said a lot of hurtful things. I believe they were probably out of anger,which is understandable but now I feel like I cant even talk to him about anything. I feel guilty about everything and I wish I could leave but I worry about what this will mean for my kids. I have no close friends and I think my family will be angry with me. I have an appointment to see a therapist some time next month but I feel so distressed now. I feel so lost :frowning2:
     
  2. idsm

    Full Member

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    For starters, take a step back and breathe.

    There are plenty of women around here that perfectly understand your frustration. They have a lot of success stories to tell you about. :slight_smile:

    Know that you can remove yourself from this situation. You can be happy, you can stand on your own feet and you can look after your children all at the same time. It needs some effort and a little bit of planning but you can work it out. Talk to your therapist. See will help you figure all of this out.
     
  3. 1Tiny0wl

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
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    A few people
    Thank you for your reply. Right now I feel like I can't get out of here. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I tried talking to my husband a few months ago. He called me a dyke and told me he doesn't want the kids to be raised in this "lifestyle". At was at that point, I closed myself up and stopped talking to him about mostly everything other than the kids. And now I am not too trusting of anyone else. I've been thinking about finding a local support group, but afraid he will get angry with me if he finds out. :frowning2:
     
  4. AngelDragonfly

    Regular Member

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    I'm so sorry that this happened to you. If your husband does not support you, or does not want his kids to be "raised in that style"-that's a problem. We are here for you until you figure things out, talk to your therapist and go slowly. You might want to make sure your husband is or is not homophobic before figuring things out, because knowing how your husband will react will simplify things. Take it slow, this will resolve itself if you do it right. Consider what might happen and make sure you know what you will do if *insert scenario* happens. Try a journal, or meditation, and work with your therapist. You'll figure it out. Remember, all of EC is here for you and accepts you. Breathe. Group hug! (&&&)(*hug*):slight_smile:(*hug*)