Hey EC, it's been a while. This will be narcissistic but I need to tell someone. Me and my best female friend experienced a tremendous amount of work/stress these last few months, maybe a year even. Today we met at her place and started drinking until we dropped to the floor because ... I don't even know why. Then she suddenly started touching my ear/neck which is my naughty switch. I tried to constrain myself but we kinda dry humped each other, I moaned like a cheap whore. I'm not even into girls, we just both felt so incredibly lonely and as we laid there hugging each other and crying she said don't be sorry, it's alright. Still, I feel like I just crossed the line and lost the only real friend I have left in my life. I can't take it anymore, why do I feel like such a worthless piece of shit all my life no matter what I do. Everything is too much, can't I have a break, why does everyone think I'm some kind of super human that doesn't have any feelings. I'm probably just an attention whore but please, can you tell me everything is gonna be alright? Who else am I going to talk to, it's not something I can tell anyone. I'm so desperate and lonely ... please. Help me. I don't know how much longer I can last. I'm just an entitled privileged white bitch why am I even complaining. Please, even if you're internet strangers, tell me it's gonna be alright. I feel like dying and nobody cares.
Hello, i don't think you are being narcissistic, i am currently under a heavy work load as well so i know how you feel in some regard, have you tried talking to your friend about what happened and seeing if you can get back into a good friendship again with her?? we all do crazy stuff when we drunk and i'm sure it isn't as bad as you feel either
I don't think you're being narcissistic. Anyone, no matter their race or social class, is entitled to feel stressed and lonely sometimes. You aren't wrong to feel that way. It's okay to feel low. You can't be sure that you ruined your relationship with her if you haven't talked to her about it. What does she think about what happened? Let her know about how you feel. Maybe talking to her may make you feel better about what happened. It is okay to be stressed. You are not alone. She is clearly stressed too. You could vent to her if you like, maybe she'll understand? Hang in there. These past few months may have been stressful for you but the stress can't go on forever. You'll get a break, eventually. You won't feel like this forever, I promise.
You were under stress. We all have difficulty under stress, and often that comes out in the form of something regrettable. If you feel bad about how this affects your relationship with her, talk to her about it and apologize. This doesn't mark the end of a friendship because of one stupid thing - a true friend will forgive and move on. What happened is perfectly understandable - doesn't make it okay - but it is understandable. I do not think you are a selfish attention whore, as you've called yourself. The mere fact that you are so affected by this seems to indicate a sensitivity and kindheartedness which would certainly not be present in a narcissist. Everything is going to be okay. You will get through this.
Breathe. Take a deep breath. You will get over this, it will be alright. Everybody here at EC has felt worthless sometimes, heck, everybody in the whole entire world has. You have not lost your friend, just complicated things. It'll work itself out. Meditate. Drink some tea. Know that you are special and unique and beautiful and NOT WORTHLESS and not a stupid person for feeling this way. Sure, you feel this way now, but you will feel okay someday and everybody has these feelings. I'm here and I support you and you will be okay. Again, you are valued and a great person.....everybody is, and you are too for even admitting this and wanting it to be okay. Know you will always be loved by somebody, in some way, forever. Hugs and best wishes! (*hug*)(*hug*)(&&&)(*hug*)(*hug*)
