I've had issues with not eating before because of being self conscious about my body and stuff, but lately I've been doing it for the sake of hurting myself. I don't think that on it's own is that bad as it's better than cutting or burning or drinking or stuff like that, but I find myself throwing up a lot now when I do eat. I don't eat lunch at school anymore, I don't eat breakfast, and a lot of times I don't eat dinner either. I have an increasing sense of self loathing that leads me to find it somewhat necessary to hurt myself. I don't like to feel angry and my therapist says most of these feelings probably come from me turning my anger internally to avoid being angry at other people. I only say something because I sometimes go entire days without feeling hungry now, and I j I st wanna make sure I'm not going to die or anything.
I used to do that myself. It didn't last very long, which is good. Not eating can be extremely dangerous for you. In can give you awful symptoms short-term, and even long-term. Your body can even be hurt so much that it doesn't heal again. And yes, even death is possible. Please talk to someone about this, such as a counselor, teacher, parent, or any peer or friend (who you can trust). And at every opportunity you feel like "I think I could eat a little", eat. Try your best to eat normally and get the nutrients you need and 2000+ ish kilocalories of energy per day. As close to that as possible is good. Don't count calories or anything, though - just try your best to eat well.
Disordered eating is just as dangerous as any other form of self-harm. Listen to Becki, she's right. Oftentimes while we are in this frame of mind, we try to rationalize it away, saying "well it isn't that bad" but the truth is, regardless of what "minimal" damage is being done by skipping a meal or two, it adds up. I've been in your place and dropped to an unhealthy weight as a result. You know what? It still wasn't enough. Any amount of food made me sick, I still wanted to lose weight, and I exhausted my body with excessive amounts of exercising to get rid of any caloric intake. At the time I was oblivious that it was bad for me - but looking back I see it's a vicious cycle. If you let yourself get into the habit of having a self abusive thought-pattern, it will start to show in other areas of your life, such as diet. I don't intend to be mean, I only want you to consider the consequences. Please try to get into good habits and resist the urge to act impulsively. Below I'll give some pointers which helped me in these areas, and maybe you can take something from it: > Try eating several (5-6) small meals at assigned times throughout the day, every two or so hours. The smaller portion sizes will make it easier to want to eat, and is less likely to make you feel sick. The times will help you get into a routine. > Plan and make your food ahead of time, perhaps putting it into containers or plastic sacks for easy access. You could even write the time or date for when to eat them. > Choose healthy foods as much as possible. But also make a list of comfort foods than can lift your mood or help boister your appetite. The kind of foods you eat make a big difference. Go easy on yourself, though. You deserve health and happiness. Try and eat well, sleep well, confide in trusted friends, do what makes you happy. You'll get through this.
