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Wasting my time?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by usagi, Mar 22, 2016.

  1. usagi

    Regular Member

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    I've known this guy for six months now. We have gone to the movies one time and the relationship is mostly sex. He says things that make me believe maybe it could be going somewhere but I am now bored because his actions don't match. I already believe that I am wasting my time I just need to hear it from others now to pick up the strength to say good bye. He hasn't taking me out and I know this is bad sign. But on the other hand I feel strangely connected to him beyond sex. I think I am just mental lol. Recently he appears to be supportive with my current issue outside of our engagement but I feel it's only out of convenience. I haven't met any friends and he's recently tried to meet me before or after he has somewhere to go, to (chill) of course. Just writing this I feel like man I've been so naive. I always refuse to meet him when he has plans but I just agreed to do so because I'm really missing him. Lol silly I know. I was weak there and I will come up with an reason not to because I have standards but my wanting to fall in love has gotten to me. We talk about a lot when we do hang out and sometimes they are deep however he doesn't ask about me and my life, I guess I don't ask about his either.

    I'm wasting my time right? This isn't going anywhere and I feel it please confirm. Sometimes I just need to hear it from someone else.

    He's older early 40s and I know staying in could maybe mean more to a relationship and he cancels other plans to hangout with me sometimes but that could be fake. He says he hasn't shared some of the things with others that he has shared with me which confuses me further.

    Very important, early on like a month in we had the talk and we talked about him not wanting to marry me at that point I wasn't into to him as much and wanted to just have my first experience with sex.

    Please give your much appreciated advice.

    Sorry for the run one sentences.

    Am I wasting my time? I am right?
     
  2. robclem21

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    Some other information might be helpful here? How old are you? How did you meet? What do you talk about and how deep can it be if its not about either of you?

    Sounds like your heart really isn't into it, regardless of what he thinks. Being someone for the idea of love is never a good idea. You have to really love them and it sounds like you don't...
     
  3. Monraffe

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    There are two things you need to make a relationship work: trust and comment (I've always found it interesting that love isn't one of them). These are yin and yang opposites that form a strong double bond. When one temporary weakens the other is always there to keep the relationship going. If you are missing one of these from either side of the relationship it could put the relationship at risk. Are both of you committed to making this work and do both of you completely trust the other. If you say yes, are you being completely honest?
     
  4. Euler

    Regular Member

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    Yes, if you already have a feeling that things aren't right, then they most likely are not. Dump the guy and move on.