The way I do most of my speaking comes off very advice-y. And I state my opinions very freely. And I worry that I'm annoying people, or grating on them, or being "bossy". How can I tell for sure...? :icon_redf
Maybe you can try to think about what you're going to say before you say it? A lot of times, unwanted advice is only going to make people not want to be around you (that comes from experience lol) I would say in order to tell you have to see how people react to your words or how you react to theirs; if they make a statement do you give them advice or recoil with an irrelevant opinion? If they ask for advice, is the advice that you're giving them relevant, or is it coming from a bitter place? Are you *telling* people what to do, or giving them words of guidance? Just take some time to see how your words are coming out, and if you are communicating in a way that's detrimental to your relationships or social connections, then it's just something you can work on to be a little less openly opinionated. Remember that opinions are awesome to have, usually they show that you have insight and a mind of your own, but it's also important to remember that not everybody shares your opinions, and it could be beneficial to you to be mindful of that; in some cases, the differentiation of opinions can even build stronger social connections, so you never know! Hope this helped.
I guess the first question is, why do you think you are doing this? You might be naturally competitive or you might have an authoritarian nature. Whether or not you annoy people depends on how charismatic you are, among other things. The fact that you don't know if you are annoying indicates that your socializing isn't going both ways, and that's not a good sign. Try being more mindful in your interactions. Let the other person control the conversation for a change and see how that feels. It might be hard for you at first. What will seem like them doing all of the talking will actually be you letting them talk for a change. I think you will find that will go much better for you.
Oh, this question wasn't really about real life where I can see facial expressions and body language, I can read those and suss out how annoying I'm being. I can't see people getting annoyed online. I believe the reason I do this is because the advice I give is the same advice I give myself as part of my own problem solving methods, and so I'm trying to use the tools available to me to give people I want to help some more options to choose from in terms of action. I never ever expect anyone to take the advice and I'm always happy if instead of accepting or rejecting the advice silently, they tell me why that will or won't work. That means they're thinking critically about the problem and how to work it. I rarely want them to just agree As for how they react, it always seems to be good. I try to be extremely mindful of how people feel and what they need and feel and want. But I second guess myself, and I doubt my perceptions, and I can't perceive anything online and I don't even know those people and I'm often just thinking about the specific problem they're posting about and throwing out a suggestion or two. No one's ever complained or given me a non-verbal clue that they want me to stop while I'm doing my advising in person. And I've seen them want me to stop talking in other situations, so I know how that looks generally.I like to listen to people, I like to hear about their problems and their worries and offer support specifically to them. I have a naturally "mothering" personality, that I'm trying to keep from becoming a "smothering" one. I already spend a ton of time thinking about the way I come off to people, hence this post. How can I tell if I'm annoying people in an Internet-only environment like this one?
