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The Dream of Having a Family

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Buddy87, Apr 4, 2016.

  1. Buddy87

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Cleveland
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    As someone who is recently coming to terms with the fact that I am probably gay and learning to accept myself, there is a part of me that is excited to finally explore that possibility and date. I smile at the possibility that I can meet some guy and become close.

    But that shatters the second I think about not having a traditional family (wife, my own kids). I have always thought and wished for that but now that I am strongly considering coming out, I realize that that dream will no longer happen. It absolutely crushes me to the core. I know adoption is an option and so many people do it and are happy. I think I just visualize myself as having my own kid and always pictured myself with a beautiful girl until recently.

    I can't help but feel cheated. Why was I made this way... wanting BOTH? I mean no disrespect and don't mean to sound selfish. It just irks me sometimes when I see straight couple with kids because that's ideally what I want but don't think I will be able to have unless I "force" it which.. being untrue to myself (or a beautiful innocent woman) is no longer an option at this point.

    I'm just curious if any one has experienced these feelings/advice on how to cope. Sometimes it feels like a lose-lose.
     
  2. killswitch0029

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    New England
    A surrogate is always an option if you really want to have a kid that's biologically yours. There's some fees behind the process but its always an option