Waiting for a special guy to figure out his sexuality

Hey,

So I met a guy about a month ago. We met online, and when we were chatting, he told me that he hadn't actually come out yet, but he reassured me, telling me he was sure he liked guys and that he wasn't at all ashamed of who he was. He was planning on telling people when there would be someone in his life to tell about. When we met for the first time in person, I really felt a connection with him. I was also diligent enough to ask a few more questions to make sure he really knew he liked guys (but was bisexual), and his response reassured me. He also told me that he wasn't afraid of commitment.

I felt a connection like I had never felt before on a first date... and I also knew, from the very first time I met him, that if it didn't work out, it would hurt really bad.

We continued texting alot, every day. And after the second date, he admitted to me that he was beginning to feel attatched.

The 4th date, he was supposed to stay the night. Normally, I would find this way too fast, but I really felt close to him, and we had sex. He was the one who initiated it.
After a few minutes, he completely imploded and started having doubts about his sexuality etc, all while recognizing that his doubts were irrational because he knew he desired me, had feelings for me, and saw that it could work out with me...but nonetheless, his doubts were tearing him up inside... and with that, the relationship essentially ended, or was put on pause at least until he could figure things out.

Needless to say, I was completely crushed. I had never felt so crushed about any guy I've dated before. I was so hurt... and felt like my trust was so betrayed.

But I've decided that I would ride the wave, give him time and space to figure things out. He himself admitted to me that his doubts were irrational and has at times expressed regret for how things ended... and he still continues to text me every day, so he clearly isn't ready to end things for real.

Has anyone ever waited for someone else to figure out their sexuality and had it work out?
I truly believe this guy is worth it, and am really willing to wait for him. Any advice on what to do to make it work out?

 

That's actually what I told him right away. I told him that I would be there and listen, but that I couldn't be the one to guide him, because I am too attached and therefore incapable of being neutral. The thing is that he doesn't have anyone else to talk to about this. I told him that he shoud talk to someone else about this. He didn't seem very warm to the idea but he admitted he should.

We are still in contact. He texts me every day.

He was very into me, admitted he got attached and felt very close to me, and he really desired me. Since all this happened, I'm not really sure how he feels about me from one day to the next, but I want to avoid harrassing him all the time to see where he's at emotionally. The last thing I wan't to comme accross as, is needy. I wan't to give him time and space to figure things out...

 

Wow. Thank you for your kind words. You hit the hammer on the nail. I'm crazy about him, and it is nerve wracking.
He keeps texting me all the time, and he wants to see me on Saturday. I'm not sure what it's going to be like, whether it will be romantic or purely platonic, but I guess I will find out then. I'm really hoping that it will be romantic, but I know it may not be likely this fast.

I'm not sure what to do to help him or make things work out, other than be patient...

I really hope things work out for you too!

 

Hey...

So it's finished for real. He came to see me Saturday night because he wanted to finish things in the most honourable way possible.
He doesn't feel that he could be with a guy long-term. He thinks he couln't have a lasting sexual desire for a guy. He essentially explained to me that he lied to himself so much that he sincerely believed what he had told me before: that he was into guys, that he wasn't affraid of committement, and that he was becoming attatched to me. He explained to me that he was essentially just looking for attention and affection, being that he doesn't get that from his friends...

Needless to say, it hurts really really bad.